Yin Yang (Taijitu)

Written by Susan Brown

The Yin-Yang symbol is widely recognized, though often people (especially Westerners) don't know it's true meaning. In the two days of having the symbol on my car, one person commented that it was related to hippie culture, and another thought that it meant "good and evil." In asking the question of its true meaning, of course there are many interpretations.  I always thought of it as balance, and more specifically that within the light there is always some dark, and within the dark there is always some light. Here’s what Wikipedia states: In Chinese philosophy, the concept of yin yang ([yin – simplified Chinese: 阴; traditional Chinese: 陰; pinyin: yīn] [yang - simplified Chinese: 阳; traditional Chinese: 陽; pinyin: yáng] often referred to in the west as yin and yang) is used to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn. The concept lies at the heart of many branches of classical Chinese science and philosophy, as well as being a primary guideline of traditional Chinese medicine,[1] and a central principle of different forms of Chinese martial arts and exercise, such as baguazhang, taijiquan (tai chi), and qigong (Chi Kung) and of I Ching divination. Many natural dualities — e.g. dark and light, female and male, low and high, cold and hot — are thought of as manifestations of yin and yang (respectively). Yin yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, although yin or yang elements may manifest more strongly in different objects or at different times. Yin yang constantly interacts, never existing in absolute stasis. The concept of yin and yang is often symbolized by various forms of the Taijitu symbol, for which it is probably best known in western cultures. There is a perception (especially in the West) that yin and yang correspond to good and evil. However, Taoist philosophy generally discounts good/bad distinctions as superficial labels, preferring to focus on the idea of balance. The idea that yin and yang has a moral dimension originated in the Confucian school (most notably Dong Zhongshu) around the second century BCE.[2]   As Wikipedia states, the “taijitu” is the actual name of the black and white fish-like symbol people often recognize and refer to as yin yang in Western cultures. Here is what the site reads on the taijitu: Taijitu (Traditional Chinese: 太極圖; Simplified Chinese: 太极图; Wade-Giles: T'ai Chi T'u; Pinyin: tài jí tú; Rough English translation: “diagram of ultimate power”) is a term which refers to a Chinese symbol for the concept of yin and yang (Taiji). The taijitu consists of a symmetrical pattern inside a circle. One common pattern has an S-shaped line that divides the circle into two equal parts of different colors. The pattern may have one or more big dots. The classic Taoist taijitu, for example, is black and white with a black dot upon the white background, and a white dot upon the black background. Furthermore, the concept of yin yang plays a part in many healing practices. If you are interested in a summary entitled “Yin Yang in Medical Theory,” this is the first paragraph from the site (http://fly.cc.fer.hr/~shlede/ying/yang.html): “The concepts of Yin and Yang and the Five Agents provided the intellectual framework of much of Chinese scientific thinking especially in fields like biology and medicine. The organs of the body were seen to be interrelated in the same sorts of ways as other natural phenomena, and best understood by looking for correlations and correspondences. Illness was seen as a disturbance in the balance of Yin and Yang or the Five Agents caused by emotions, heat or cold, or other influences. Therapy thus depended on accurate diagnosis of the source of the imbalance.” After reading all of this, I found it particularly interesting that I reversed the image I drew on my car from the most commonly used taijitu, though it doesn't seem to matter because there are so many versions. There is also something pleasing about the black portion of the symbol being the negative, empty space on my rear window to look through.

Love Creates

Written by Administrator

It took me a moment to figure this plate out...then I loved it. I found it at an organic farm called La Milpa that hosts gatherings once a month. Cool Plate!

Have you ever wondered...

Written by Susan Brown

How many trees are cut down for Christmas each year? 30-35 million trees are cut down for Christmas every year.  Have you ever wondered what the origin of the Christmas tree tradition is? It goes back as early as the 1500's. You can go to: http://urbanext.illinois.edu/trees/facts.cfm, in which the University of Illinois states many interesting Christmas tree facts referenced from the National Christmas Tree Association , and USDA Census of Agriculture . ...The older I get, and the more consciously aware I become about the Earth it saddens me to think that we cut down 6 to 10 year-old beautiful, livley trees just to hang ornaments on and stare at for a week before they get tossed out with the rest of the garabage. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, and the tradition we have in my family of decorating the tree together on Christmas Eve. At the same time, my love for the environment can't seem to justify why we do this to a poor tree that could be living, breathing, cleaning our air, and being shelter for animals just for one specific night of tradition. For the longest time I didn't think about the tree, and now that my awareness has been rekindled, I remember as a child thinking the same way and begging my parents for a potted Christams tree every year so we could decorate it, celebrate with it, and then plant it in the backyard. Most of the time it was too expensive for us. One year they got us one, and it was one of the best family events we had, in the true spirit of Giving. Giving the tree back to the Earth. Alive. My family still buys cut trees for Christmas. At my house, though, I bring in my potted ficus tree and decorate it. Have you ever wondered what happens to the trees that don't get sold? I know the Christmas tree industry has to make a living too, but I think the saddest loss is when the trees that get cut don't live their final days in admiration. This was a Christmas tree lot a few weeks ago, and this one never made it home to someone. Now it sits (this photo was taken on January 6, 2010) without a soul caring. Just two weeks ago it was in high demand, being sold for who knows how much...According to the website above, another 73 million trees will be planted this year in hopes they will make it. About half will survive weathering and pruning in order to be harvested for Christmas years from now.

Writing Haiku

Written by Susan Brown

Sometimes a brief moment in time, a less-than-a-second moment, can last a lifetime. I have been able to sense those moments of beauty through photography, and now I have recently come to channel that communication  through practicing writing Haiku. Haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry most known for its simple, yet elegant structure and the impact it can have on a reader. The basic form of a Haiku has only three lines. The first line must have exactly 5 syllables, the second line has 7, and the third has 5. There are many other forms/versions of Haiku, however, this is the basic structure: 5-7-5. The subject matter of most Haiku is of nature or the nature of the human experience. It's a beautiful artform to study.      I have only been writing Haiku for about 3 weeks now and it has opened my eyes to recognize more of those split-second, infinite-feeling moments. Here are four Haiku I have written, thank you for reading:   Day begins with moon Stars align with daybreak Enters the Rabbit     In a field of brush The ancient tree stands alone Strewn with termite holes     Window open tonight  Dogs howl, planes soar, crickets strum. The pond is empty     Remember, Dear Child The oak you climbed long ago The leaves, how they pile                                                                                                                                             Susan Emily Brown

Got Owls

Written by Susan Brown

I saw this car at Live Oak Park in north county San Diego, Fallbrook, and decided to take a photo of it because owls are a special, sacred birds to me. The barnowls.com website this person has a sticker for, is a really good website if you are interested in learning more about barn owls, more specifically, if you want to encourage them to live near you. Local farmers and families build "owl boxes" out of love for the birds or simply keep them  around as rodent control.       As an elementary school teacher, years ago, we showed the class one of the videos from the barnowls.com website (footage of owls and owlets) and the children were fascinated by it. Myself, I love walking at dusk when I have a chance of seeing an owl who just woke up for their nocturnal day, looking for breakfast as the sunset disappears into darkness. Their silent flight has an eerie quality to it that is calming to watch.      If you are interested in finding out about the spiritual aspects and cultural beliefs surrounding animalls like owls, a really great book to pick up is Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. Amazon allows you to view some of the text if you are curious.

Hidden Treasures Thrift Store

Written by Susan Brown

Hidden Treasures Thrift Store opened just recently in Fallbrook, CA. I work in a day program for disabled adults which takes them out & about in the local community learning basic work & life skills in order to become more productive in their lives.      My boss had the idea to open a thrift store run by "the guys" themselves and so far it has been awesome to see how quickly it has filled up with donations. It's pretty nice to see our community helping them gain these skills & supporting in whatever way they can. It is important for people to see how capable disabled persons really are, they are so often underestimated or discriminted against, especially when being considered for employment.        I wanted to add this to the site because I was really happy to paint an additional sign on the windows (there is a professional sign on the door, however, the large store windows are mirror-tinted, as you can see, so it has been difficult for people to locate us or to advertise by seeing the store from the street) and, if it hadn't have been for using the paint pens for drivenmessages on my car, my co-workers would have never had the idea to ask me to paint the sign. It was so nice to do something I love for people who are so grateful and were complimentary to me when I had finished.         If you are a local San Diegan, or are in the area, please come and visit us. We are very proud to have business that the indiviuals run themselves. We are in Fallbrook on 504 East Alvarado Street, two buildings down from the Fallbrook Art Studios. Thanks for your support!

April Fools

Written by Susan Brown

I saw this van back in late summer '08 in LA. To my surprise on April Fools Day '09 I'm walking through a parking lot in my home town (not that big of a population) about an hour & a half southeast of LA and there it is again, sitting in front of a grocery store...it tripped me out...I felt compelled to run over and leave a note or try to find the driver to find out what the heck they transport or whatever the story was about the painting, but I was working, I was responsible for 3 disabled adults who were in desperate need of lunch and about to walk into one of their favorite resturants. I wasn't about to try to drag them around looking for someone. So I saw the van again in a 10 second flash. It almost didn't register as real. I couldn't believe for a moment I was actually seeing it again, it was like someone transplanted it from one dimension of my life and placed it in another. So random. Unexpected. I supopse LA and north coutny San Diego aren't that far apart in the grand scheme of things...yet I still felt perplexed enough to ask myself "What was that about?" The van looked more colorful and bright, I could see the details better, though I was further away, and I realized just now that the last time I saw it (pictured above) it was an overcast, bleek day (though I love rain) and on this April Fools it was sunny and bright...a shift in perspective on life I suppose. It is springtime after all.

Painterly Messages

Written by Susan Brown

Been attracted to and creating more painterly messages recently...I find sometimes words get in the way since we all have our own connotations and often words don't do justice to what we mean to communicate anyway. A friend of mine never reads the titles painters give to their work, nor likes to know what the artist has to say. You  can just "feel" what is being expressed and that in itself is enough.

Equal (Gay) Rights March

Written by Susan Brown

Andrew's Car

Written by Susan Brown

My peace-lovin' co-worker who helped me get the job at a local vocational services company for the disabled has great stickers on his car that are way too "him." He's a Beatles fan, so the "Ringo for President" is more than appropriate. I have seen the "Faith, Hope, Love" window decal on the road before. The first time I saw it I was really inspired and excited by it, I thought about taking a picture of it for this site, yet I was on the freeway. Over the next several months I saw it again, then I had to smile when Andrew put it on his car recently. I knew the timing would be right for me to see the decal again. I love that those three words are just the way they are. There is no solicitation for a certain religion or belief...just each word standing for whatever it evokes in the viewer. Faith Hope Love Qualities we all need more of...Thanks Andrew, Peace Brutha

BE

Written by Susan Brown

Colorful art this time. YAY!!! I finally bought a set of colored window paint pens...marking of the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of DRIVENMESSAGES.COM. I've been moving more towards artistic design expressions rather than words or sayings. This piece just flowed out of me and the word "BE" appeared from somewhere. I like to think "be" came from just "being" in the moment at the time of creating this design.

World Flag

Written by Susan Brown

The World Flag was created in 1988 to raise global awareness, inspire innovative solutions and promote action toward challenges facing our world today. It serves as a powerful symbol to inspire action and celebrate the pursuit of positive change. The Flag has flown from New York to Nepal and continues to make its way around the planet spreading its message of unity. (www.theworldflag.org) This is an awesome website that gives a thorough synopsis of each participating country, including international treaties each holds, etc. The World Flag...I found this card at the Burning Man Decom party in LA. I have thought of this concept many times myself in the form of bumper stickers. Reading peoples SoCal, NorCal, or State stickers on their cars (the purpose in dispalying one-coming from a competitve spirit or pride in where a person comes from) I often ask myself if that all really matters. I used to get frustrated with seeing the stickers because the division and pride seemed unecessary to me. I wanted to see a World sticker, to look beyond the imaginary divisions; towns, counties, states, countries...I found one eventually that showed a globe and stated "We are all in this together," that I put on my car. When I saw this card I became really excited and relieved to see others thinking the same way, that this world does get smaller every day, and to embrace each other and our differences is the direction we must move in order to foster a peaceful place for out grandchildren. This card gave me hope and inspiration that there are people out there bringing Unity to our world. I recommend checking out the website.

Election Expressions

Written by Susan Brown

Election days...other than the usual bumperstickers and lawn signs endorsing whom or whatever, I found these homemade expressions inspirational due to the mere fact that someone was passionate enough to speak their voice. Regardless of our opinions, I am grateful that we live in a country that honors Freedom of Speech.

Burning Man Decom

Written by Susan Brown

Burning Man is an annual art event and temporary community based on radical self expression and self-reliance in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada. Every year more than 40,000+ people set up camp and stay for about a week. As you can imagine, anything goes. After returning home many local communities host Burning Man Decom (decompression) parties. I went with a friend to the one day event in LA this year. After spending a great day meeting people, dancing, wandering, staring at constumes and art, I can only imagine the insanely amazing energy there is at the real Burning Man each year. I often hear stories of spiritual transformation, or that "it was the best week of my entire life" from friends.   I would say that two of the best highlights that day was to meet Aleta and paint her face, and joining a drum circle full of beautiful strangers and Hare Krishnas. It was a blessing to express my creativity on someones face whom I had just met and have her share her personal feelings while I was painting. I felt like a hairdresser who knows intimate details about their clients lives. Thank you for trusting me, Aleta. The drum circle was so amazing...we were so focused that the party began shutting down around us and we didn't notice. People didn't want to interrupt us until 20 minutes before the gates would lock cars in the parking lot. I walked back to my tent to find my friend had already torn it down and half our stuff was already at the car. We could have gone all night, drumming, chanting, singing...it was one of those days to live for.

A Tree Knows

Written by Susan Brown

I leave the message "A Tree Knows" open to your interpretation... Each time I've attempted to explain my communion with Trees my words have become "lost." Recently I was sitting in silence with someone in the branches of a tree and I kept thinking the thoughts to tell a story of a profound spiritual experience I once had with a Redwood. All of these different partial sentences came to mind and the greater heart-purpose lay heavy upon me. I almost burst with the passion of what I longed to share. In the end, I couldn't bring myself to utter a word. I don't believe I've ever told anyone the message I received from that particular Tree I once spoke with...and don't know if I ever will, or I am meant to. I suppose it's inexpressible anyhow. As I was kneeling below a Redwood Parent just last month a poem came to me in a flash. It was eloquent, it flowed, it rhymed, it had the spirit of the moment...then it became the only poem I have ever "lost," thus, was never meant to be shared. I wonder how it is that I seem unable to translate these momentous experiences to others. And I wonder if these were sacred moments meant only for me in that brief moment of time. I can only wonder if other people feel the way I do about the purity and truth of a Tree. What I can share is a fraction of the view that inspired the "lost" poem:   And a poem that is on a Redwoods postcard I once bought:           Trees    I think I shall never see    A poem as lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is prest Against the earth's sweet flowing    breast;    A tree that looks at God all day    And lifts her leafy arms to pray; A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair;    Upon whose bosom snow has lain;    Who intimately lives with rain. Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree.                              Joyce Kilmer

Curtis Reliford's Car & Cause: Follow Your Heart Action Network

Written by Susan Brown

I met Curtis Reliford at ranch in Northern CA. Watching him speak was very heartfelt and inspiring. Later I saw his trailor and was struck with excitement to see someone shouting their prayers, as I have sometimes felt alone with my drivenmessages. Getting to know Curtis, he told me the story of how he and his daughter had been in New Orleans visiting just before Katrina hit. They live in Santa Cruz, and when they arrived home, Curtis felt deeply connected to the tragedy, especially having just been there a week before. Mr. Reliford decided to take matters into his own hands and began collecting whatever he could to bring back to the people in the devasted region. Within a short time many people contributed to his cause, he began making trips, giving back, and doing whatever he could...this is how his non-profit organization began. Curtis founded Follow Your Heart Action Network , which today, still gives to people affected by distasters here in the United States. If you would like to read more about Curtis and his cause, as well as view photos of what he found in New Orleans please visit his website: http://www.followyourheartactionnetwork.com I just recently met Curtis, and I can truly saw he is one of the most geniune, generous people I've met. New layer... New layer... New layer... New layer...

Lost Turtle

Written by Susan Brown

To think that someone loved their turtle enough to make this sign. Awww. He or she must have escaped slowly. What are the odds of finding someone's lost turtle? Does s/he have an id collar? Be free turtle!!!

IMAGINE

Written by Susan Brown

Imagine by John Lennon Imagine there's no Heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people Living for today Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people Living life in peace You may say that I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will be as one Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world You may say that I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one IMAGINE. I felt full of hope, happiness, sadness...visiting this tile tribute to John Lennon at Strawberry Fields in NYC's Central Park, as gifted by Italy. Two locals sat at benches playing their guitars for loose change; paying tribute to John themselves, and also capitolizing on a tourist spot. A drunk man begged for change. Change. The building on the right in the photo below was where John & Yoko last lived together...the building he was shot in front of. Those who are so strongly devoted to peace and justice seem to have their lives ended early. To leave a legacy of hope, peace, justice...I suppose King, Ghandi, Lennon, and others alike transcend death because of what they knew beyond themselves...I suppose they might have known that death could be a price to pay for the momentum of raising consciousness, a higher purpose beyond one persons life lived. And thus, they live on... Tears well in my eyes the moment I hear a just a few notes of this song. It's as if someone knows me.

A few messages around town...

Written by Susan Brown

These are a few messages I found floating around Fallbrook a while back. The "I Love Lo" is on the van of a gal that works at a local coffee shop I frequent. I saw her driving around with this message on her car for a really long time this summer...I never asked who wrote it. The "Caution Live Monkeys" had me lauging when I pulled up next to it one day at a local supermarket. I was working at the time, yet I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a shot of the window, it really brightened up my day. Gotta love some peoples humor.   The "Married to me best friend" car was parked outside a clients' house for a few days. Though it caught my attention the first time I saw it I wasn't compelled to take a photo of it until after the third day or so. I smile and find hope in that there are married coulpes out there willing to display that kind of affection; to know that that kind of love is real in peoples lives is inspirational.

Unity, Duty, & Destiny

Written by Susan Brown

These are the banners made for a 9 year-old's birthday party back in April. I love that the family kept them up this long. Every year he chooses a different theme. This time he drew from Anime (probably also influenced by the TaeKwon Do he's been taking). I chose to include this as a drivenmessage because often I find our youth blowing my mind these days...some of the children I meet have such levels of awareness and intelligence that I can't help but think what my parents used to say about each generation getting smarter and smarter...children are doing all kinds of things at a younger age, some commendable, and some not so. I don't know if we are "getting smarter," what I do know is that some little children appear to know more than I did at their age.       Or maybe that's just what happens as we grow older...maybe I did know as much as them back then and somewhere along the way I forgot it or lost it. Or maybe each generation is a little less sheltered...Life seems easier now when I let go of so much that I was told or thought was "right" or I thought I once "knew."          Unity, Duty, and Destiny. What does it all mean? Give me your opinions and I'll give you mine, yet it all may change tomorrow. And some feelings or thoughts may stay the same. How are we to know where we will be an hour, a day, a year from now?      Will this childs' will and principles stay strong throughout the years, and will he retain his pride in what he believes? Will he be knocked down many times and have to pick himself up into adulthood only to strive toward what he onced believed in as a child once again? Only time will tell.      I find myself uncovering layers that bring me back to what I've always known...paralleled by the notion that I really don't know anything.      Unity is a beautiful experience, to be had within or with others.      Duty is doing what I believe to be just and true, as defined by me, though most often involves others.      Destiny...hmmm...did I choose this life, this family before I got here? Is deja vu a glich in my perception matrix, and/or a sign that I'm on the true path? If it's truly my destiny, aren't I always on my good red road?      Mystery, what a great thing. What is mystery?       Choice. Oh no, not that.      Trust. In what?

Brett Stokes Art Show

Written by Susan Brown

Visual messages...the spirit that comes through art. The painting of the bear below won 2nd place in the Annual Cherokee Nation Show this year. Brett has won several awards in their annual competitions.         Brett and I sometimes talk about the experience of artmaking; how no matter the vision one sees in the mind, the end result or physical painting will not look just how it did in the vision. Someone once said to me that artists have to be courageous because they are destined for failure. I understood what that meant. I used to be discouraged that I never seemed to be able to create something to look just how I “saw” it, either it be a vision coming from a higher source, my mind, photo or still life. It never seemed to look like what I wanted it to look like. Now I appreciate that whatever the vision or spirit that comes through “takes on a life of it's own,” as my step mother says, and is to be honored for what it is.      Another reason artists, musicians, writers alike must be courageous is to not worry how others will receive their work...there can be many lessons in staying true to the heart, allowing oneself to be vunerable, and standing strong against adveristy. Another artist friend of mine told me she believed that everything an artist, musician, writer creates is actually a self portrait.      My stepmother is a musician and she talks about how she would create a song or part of and then feel discouraged when it seemed too similar to something heard before, or a less fruitful version of what it could be, that feeling you might be “copying” someone or something. Over time, she says, she realized that we are always taking from a place we know, a reference of what has come before, yet it then moves through us and becomes expressed as our own. Whatever creation appears is unique, though it can be obvious at times what may have influenced the work.        An artist is a vehicle for expression, and it's the mystery of what will become that fuels the fulfillment, it is the process of creation that serves the soul. And no matter the subject matter, a scene, a feeling, the play of paint and brush, or the uncovering of a word or tone that fits just right, the one constant of any form of creation-making is that the possible results are infinite; that no one original piece will look, sound, or read the same, though some may come close to one another. Art, music, creative expressions, are like fingerprints, they happen in a certain time, space, and through a particular person or persons creating life together.      Some art is made with a purposeful expectation of an audience, that it will someday be shown to someone, communicating something, and/or sold. Then there are creations for creations sake, the pieces that come from a spontanenous flow of spirit, the artist being the conduit for expression, often not knowing what the result will be. You could say that procreation can make anyone an artist of the human life.      These kinds of spontaneous expressions, one could call “free-flowing,” and for me they have been some of the most enjoyable, meditative experiences I've had. Hours go by in a flash. It doesn't really matter if it's ever shown to anyone because it was so enjoyable in the moment it was made.       Some pieces I look back on years later I'm almost embarrassed for myself because of the raw, vunerable feeling I get looking at some of the expressions that once came through me. Much of the work Brett created on display in this show were spontaneous paintings, somewhat different than of some in past shows. I was very happy for him to know that a lot of the work in this show came from bursts of creative energy...creation for creations sake.      It seems that this kind of explosive work can not only be a different kind of pleasurable experience for the artist, yet also for the viewer. Artists that start of with calculated, almost academic-like painting find it very freeing to “loosen up” with feeling and stroke. I used to paint very tight, detailed work and my teachers would always encourage me to “go bigger,” it wasn't until recently did I appreciate what they meant. They wanted me to feel the freeing sensation, as Brett's paintings have, that truly expresses an uninhibited way of being.      I find Brett's “free” paintings to have much feeling, movement, and expression of the heart and soul (then for instance a intellectual concept piece). The complimentary colors he intuitively chooses are compelling to view in person. I suppose it invokes different thoughts, feelings for each viewer.       Back to not knowing what the “end result” will be, Gustav Klimt used to say that none of his paintings were ever “finished.” I could agree and disagree with this statement. I learned through trial an error to be careful to stay with a good stroke, a certain knowing not to mess with what is already there. I had “ruined” paintings by overuling that feeling of keeping a good thing, however, no matter how far gone the painting was from the good moment (sometimes laying in only a small section of a painting) I could always build upon whatever was there to create something else. In some way, it could never be ruined.      A painting, though it may always seem unfinished to the artist, s/he somehow senses when it's time to stop. Finished or unfinished is a relative notion. Some artists go back years later and add a few strokes to something...his or her paintings are open to change as s/he sees fit, it isn't a closed door unless chosen it to be.         Brett included some of his photography in this show. I find myself amazed at some of the natural world he captures. Some of his photos of birds are truly “National Geographic level” images. I wonder how he has the ability to capture them so eloquently. I always sense when taking nature photography that the animal knows I'm there. They must be very comfortable with Brett's presence. (Please excuse the glare/reflections in the glass)      A new media Brett made were war shields made of old quilts. He explained to me how it was a statement about the spreading of smallpox on blankets purposefully given to tribes during colonization to kill them through disease as well as warfare.        Brett invited a friend, Ironhand, a Native American flutist as his guest to play at the show. We sat and listened to his music, I drifted off to some meditative land...many people came and went, some sitting down to listen for a while. A few sat and closed their eyes, also drfiting off to some place. It was a beautiful day...a time to finally relax and breathe, to remember to slow down and just be. An older woman danced around with a baton ribbon like a small child and someone brought their puppy with them. It was one of those days that you could live the moments for just what they were.   Ironhand     Mark, Brett, & others            /           Mark relaxing by the firepit          Thanks Brett. You are a dear friend. You have given us many gifts of beauty, sharing, understanding, and reflection. You have inspired an innumerable amount of people...and continue to...                      (This is a card Brett made for a friend, not included in the show)

Fathers, a Weekend of

Written by Susan Brown

Native American & Christian spiritual ways have been an experiential blessing for me. On this Father's Day weekend I spent time with Mother Earth and Father Sky at a local powwow, ironically located at one of the in/famous California missions...another place of Fathers.      On one end of the grounds at the mission were sculptures of Jesus, Mary, and scenes of their lives, the Mission building itself, and tributes to the work and messages the missionaries brought. On the other end of the grounds was the powwow where ceremonial dance grounds, booths, food, etc. were. The local Native communities invited all peoples to celebrate, to dance, drum, listen, sing, and partake in food, friends, and family; a warm evening connecting to the Earth.      A ceremony for Veterens played to my heart during the powwow as we were invited to enter the dancing grounds to shake the hands and thank those who had served in Vietnam, Iraq, and so on. My heart pounded and my body disappeared as I approached the drum circle of 12 men beating in unison, arriving at the line of men awaiting our graciousness for their service. I looked into the eyes of each person who had endured War, shook their hand and thanked them. I had been nervous to enter the invisible boundry into the sacred circle, pushing through my preconception that a non-native should not enter. The experience of meeting eyes with these father/peer/elder warriors confirmed my respect for those who fought for what they believed in. We were told that the first casualty in Iraq was a Native American woman and we spent a moment honoring her. We were told that 75% of Natives serving in Vietnam volunteered, only 25% were drafted. A culture ladden with warriors rises to the occasion.      Paralled by the powwow was the presence of Jesus, another Father. Father of Love, as in the understanding of the father above like Father Sky; holding a space for expanding our awareness as children walking this Earth. Someone had placed flowers in Jesus' hand—a sculpture of him bearing the cross. The sculptures had a presence of Truth if sought by the seeker, a three-dimensional experience of the life and beingness of Jesus embodying Love. I found a new expericence of appreciation for a Father who led by following his true self...      It was a beautiful blending of the two worlds.      Happy Father's Day.      The next day my father and I watched an action movie and relaxed about. He thanked me for making him a father. I thanked him for being mine. Later that week we sat around a campfire and talked about life. We talked about my father's father who died two years ago, whose birthday was also within that same week. My dad helped me work though my undertsanding of my life as it is now. I felt comforted listening to the reflections of my dad, nearly 30 years my elder, having lived a very different life than mine.      Who is your Father? Or the abscence, or spirit of?      Who are your lineage of Fathers?      We are all fathers and mothers to someone, each other...striving, one would hope, to honor all boys and men as fathers, all women and girls as mothers.

Spontaneous Music Therapy

Written by Susan Brown

I met a friend at the local public library today. We sat outside on a bench and talked. I noticed a "Summer Sunday Concerts" sign in the window and began to hear cello wafting through the air every time someone opened the library doors...      A woman was playing and talking about the cello; her experience and use for healing. She was a Music Therapist and spoke of how the vibrations of instruments heal our body/mind/spirit. She said the cello was particularly good for the bones as the deep vibration travels further into the body. She played songs that emphasized the progression of moving downward, others upbeat, others familiar...and her experience of playing for the terminally ill and the like. She mentioned how live music can be especially healing as the therapist can intuitvely sense what is needed in the person or people she is playing for and the sensation of the vibration being more optimal than recorded music.   I found an impulse to sketch her:      And near the end she "struck a chord" with me...she played a song that I used to hear as a child in one of the music boxes we had. Tears came to my eyes and I felt an impulse to write a poem as well. I gave them to her as a gift afterward. She commented on the expression of her face in the sketch I drew, noting that people often ask her why she doesn't make more eye contact with the audience. She explained that sometimes in order to "see" the music it is better to have her eyes closed.       The musician explained that it was difficult for her to learn new music by listening, that it was easier to read notes or see notes by closing her eyes. She said that for the cello she found traditional Irish/Celtic songs to be most suitable and enjoyable for learning.      Music has so much power to heal, especially live music. My choice of music nowadays comes from being so much more aware of the affect it has on me...when I can, I try to choose wisely, as I do food, what I might want in my surroundings, my body, consciousness.

Take Yourself to Dance

Written by Susan Brown

When I was young I took ballet for about 10-15 years. As a child my studio was a beautiful small town studio with hardwood floors, an old piano, and a teacher who still used a records for us to dance to. When was older my parents split up and we moved away to another town. I attempted to take class in diferent styles of ballet in other studios. And it just didn't feel right. There was alot competitive energy everywhere else I went, and I didn't want to be in those environments. After a few years of no ballet, time went on, I turned 16 and started driving. Eventually I found myself propelled to return to ballet decided to start going back to my childhood studio and teacher, Cathy. It was a 45 minute drive one way, yet I was committed. So I was back in the studio for awhile for a time longer, then high school ended, college began, work, etc...my life was devoted to many other adventures once again. While in college, though not in ballet, I took an amazing world dance class that surveyed many types of dancing...I loved the Balinese and Brazilian styles especially. Sometimes we would have live drumming to accompany us, which was so organic and amazing.      One night, standing in the kitchen in my apartment, during my community college days, Cathy called. Must have gotten my phone number from my mom. This was a rare occurrence, though she'd been very good family friend since I was 4, I only saw her outside of the studio on rare occasions. She called to tell me that she was leaving the studio and would be passing it on to another teacher I had known from childhood who used to substitute for her, Charlou. I knew this would happen eventually, that Cathy would retire, but one can never prepare for things like this, a clear ending to precious chapter of my life. I cried when we got off the phone and knew I would always remember where I was when I received the news. I was thankful that while dancing in my last class with Cathy—that I didn't know at the time it would be my last class.      Sometime later I went back to the studio to inquire with Cahrlou about taking class again, but found at the time I couldn't really afford to take class. Cathy had given me a scholarship when I was young and I was able to come and go as I pleased, now I would have to pay for it and I knew it wouldn't be the same...I started to feel resistant to the studio and Charlou. I decided to take class at the local college instead because I only had to pay one price for the whole semester...but when I couldn't take class as a “pass/no pass” being that it was under a grade system, I dropped because I just wanted to be there to be there, not to earn a grade.      It's been 6 or 7 years since I stepped foot in a ballet class. About 2 months ago I walked by that old childhood studio and stared through the back windows noticing the subtle changes and what had remained the same. I started crying thinking back to all the memories, all the hours, years spent there, and the many dreams I've had of the studio or of ballet.      About a month ago I was visiting with my grandmother and a short ballet clip came on the arts channel on tv. It was the first time I've watched a ballet in a long, long time. I remember being confused by some of the operatic stories as a child and had a hard time making sense of it all...I wondered why there wasn't any words or lines like a play. I found myself pleasantly surprised, now I understood. I could feel and sense and hear...the body language spoke the words, the story, the emotions. I finally understood just enjoyed. When I was young I would always critique the technique of the dancers, noticing proper alignment, flow, every detail. Watching tv with my grandma I didn't care about judging the technique...I just admired. Having the technical knowledge gave me a greater appreciation for the commitment the dancers undertook and now I could really feel more with my heart the spirit of the dancers and the true talent of each unique person.      I was always told throughout childhood I could be a professional dancer and for years felt guilty about what could have been...now I know my heart was right in the decisions I made growing up, to not become a professional. My life would have been mostly about ballet...and there would have been so many missed lessons, loves, and adventures lost to the hardcore pursuit.      I spoke to Cathy on the phone recently about going back to ballet someday and she encouraged me to go see Charlou. I was really nervous about it...I even went in to a different studio in town to feel the energy of the place...it felt too competitve and judgemental for me as the studios I visited when I was younger did. So, I had to consider going back to Charlou and my studio as a real possibilty. I suppose I was afraid of the memories, of the emotions it might bring up.      Last night I stretched out at the kitchen counter as if it were a ballet bar...I couldn't tell you the last time I did that. Then this morning during meditiation it became clear that I was to finally go by the studio after work. A long time ago someone gave me two blankets for Christmas with ballet images on them. I decided to keep one and give the other as an offering. When I drove up I saw many pairs of toe shoes lined up on the banister walking up to the front door. I took some photos, put the camera back in the car and as I walked up to that same old door that has always been there, the doorknob in hand, my heart began to race. I could feel my blood pulsating throughout my body...the door seemed to open in slow motion as I saw straight through the entryway and into a class in session. There were young girls, older teenagers and a few college-aged women, a mixed class. They were dancing a combination across the floor. I became choked up and unceratin about where to even stand in the entryroom. I leaned against the same old desk that's been there for probably 40 years or more and a mother of one of the students began asking me questions.      I could barely answer the mother. She asked if I was there for class, if I had taken ballet...etc. Though I could barely speak, and a part of me didn't even want to, I said I had been there from '84 to '92 then on and off from then on...she asked if I knew Cathy...all of these questions I found myself answering very quietly, like the little Susan I was when I was 6. It was almost painful how vunerable yet knwoledgeable I felt and was. The mother explained that there was another student there in the class that night that had come back after years of being gone. I didn't recongnize her.      Class ended and Charlou approached me, calling me by name...I offered her the blanket and a bit of small talk ensued...I started to tell her about my heart racing as I approached the door just a while before and tears came to my eyes. Charlou looked off into the distance and stated “Don't you wish you could turn back time sometimes and be like it was?”...our eyes floated toward the young women out on the floor preparing for recital practice. A time ago I might have agreed with Charlou, yet I know now I can't let myself fall too far down that rabbit hole of wishing for the past. Tears ran down my cheeks as she told me what I beautiful dancer was and how my body would remember. I knew that..that my body would remember if I began dancing again, yet somehow, being in the old studio amplified my feelings of uncertainty and even fears that I might get emotional during class. I was already standing there quiet tears running down my face among many strangers passing by our conversation. I guess I had to show emotion. I guess a part of me was ready to heal, heal my relationship to myself as a ballet dancer and allowing myself to walk into the studio once again...Charlou saw my tears, looked into my eyes and said it would be an honor to have me back in class.      I made my peace with Charlou, with the studio once again. I grabbed a schedule, and someday, soon, I will take myself to dance.      Do you ever take yourself to dance?      Do you ever go for a drive to see the house you grew up in?      Do you ever listen to that old music you may be embarassed to admit you enjoy?      Where have you been?      Where are you now?      Where are you going?

10 year reunions...this thing we call "Time"

Written by Susan Brown

Somehow I found myself at two functions in a week that were like 10 year reunions with mixed groups of people from several high schools/ages/places. One of my old-school coffee shop kid friends was having his 30 th birthday, then another coffee shop kid had a BBQ in LA and invitied some San Diegans up. It felt really good to be catching up with old friends.      At the 30 th bday we watched an amateur documentary I created back when I was 15. My dad had bought me a camcorder one Christmas and I toted it everywhere, capturing some fairly embarrassing, goofy, and incriminating teenage behavior. I had hours and hours of old footage of tons of teenagers at coffee shops, peoples houses, band practices, shows, random streets...etc.etc. including a few people who had passed away.      What was really interesting about one person in particular who had died at a young age, was what I had caught on film and how it related to his life. As young kids, I asked him the question “What would you do if you had a million dollars?” He answered that he would buy a hearse, move to New Orleans and then buy a “shitload of cigarettes and beer.” It turns out that within the short number of years he had left (I found out at the party) he did move to New Orleans and died (of an overdose I think) there. It felt good to know he had fulfilled his dream...and all of us were surprised to see the footage of him speaking knowing he had done what he set out to do.      There was another person in particular that had died that everyone in the social group were pretty good friends with. When he came on screen everyone got really quiet and it felt like we were all sitting in a time warp togther. It was really fulfilling for me to finally show the video complilation I made so long ago...I had hung on to it for the last 12 years and just didn't show it to anyone. Occasionally I mentioned it, yet it always became like a “yeah, that would be really cool to watch” subject and didn't really manifest. People that came to the party not knowing were kind of shocked it existed. I was a bit nervous playing it...however, nearing the end of the night people came up to me and genuinely thanked me for it...not just for bringing it, but creating it in the first place. I remember being 15 and getting questioned a lot for filming, I even had one person (who was dealing drugs) grab my camera, take the tape out and rip it up in front of my face (I taped a lot of people smoking pot back then). I was pretty upset after that, it had my high school dance recital on it, not just teenagers goofing off and socializing.      I felt a real feeling of completion showing the video to everyone, I had no idea I would feel that way about it, kind of humbled by my own doings. There I was 12 years later...feeling the benefits of what I had created so long before. One person came up and thanked me so much, explaining that she had tears in her eyes when she saw one of our dead friends. Our friends' mom was there also, and was laughing hysterically because she finally got to see some of what her kids were doing after school, saying how she had always wondered what the heck we did during those hours. It was great to combine celebrating Zack's 30th Birthday and what we called a "Java Depot Reunion," the name of the coffee shop where alot of it all began...        The BBQ I went to was simliar in that it was like a 10 year reunion. The coffee shop kids were kind of a mixture of goth/punk/raver...alternative lifestyle...smoker, artist, musician, creative-type people finding our way through the suppossedly “becoming an adult” life...some people have really grown then since then. Some are professionals in Hollywood, one person I knew became an LA Laker, others create video games, one worked for Dreamworks...one is becoming an EMT...one is a professional make-up artist, one owns a tatoo shop in San Francisco...      So I found it fascinating to be up at my friends place, observing the contiuation of his love of music and some of the darker forces of life...his roommate who said she was Atheist and yet surrounded herself with Christian imagery. This dolphin painting was a "painting by numbers" she changed the colors to: And I met some new people (she said she always wanted wings)... Aaron's Room & Car: (The "Don't be caught dead in fur" is a rare PETA/Twin Peaks limited edition)      These two events were better than any 10 year reunion I could have imagined...I'm not sure if I'll make it to my high school reunion anyway since they've been so lax about the planning and no one knows what's going on with it...      All I can say is to be with people that no matter how many years apart, when we look deeply into eachother's eyes, exchange the words “I love you” and reconnect in ways indescribable—is absouletly priceless. Experiencing and knowing deep in the heart that  thatperson is, and has been one of my “soul mates” through this thing we call time, is unparalleled. I give gratitude for those people and these places within us. A "music note" on Aaron's wall:

Partial Dreams Do Come True

Written by Susan Brown

In October of last year I e-mailed my friends & family updating them about my life...one of the things I stated was that I wanted to go to China in 2008. I had the idea for a year or two. The Great Wall and the TerraCotta Soilders were the two things I really wanted to see. I mostly dreamed of the soilders after studying art history and being impacted by the enormity of these thousands of larger than life sculptures, each one with a unique and individual body & face. They say it took 700,000 craftsmen to create the scultpure army...and that the ruler of China of the time was searching for an elixer to immortality.  As time went on last year my mother was invited to China, and she invited me as well. I marked my calendar tentively with a "China?" during the second week of May as we thought we might go. More time passed. The trip didn't work out. More time passed...politics, the Olympics...Tibet. It began to seem as if China came to me, rather than me going to China. A month or so ago I was flipping through AAA magazine and came across an add showing the TerraCotta Soilders coming to a museum in southern CA!!! I tripped out when I looked at the dates and saw that the opening showing was during the same time I marked my calender "China?" so long ago.    A few weeks later I went to a concert with a friend and he asked, "Have you ever been to the Bowers Museum?" I looked at him funny and had a feeling he was talking about the same museum. I said no then he told me the soilders would be there, that he had already bought the tickets, and would I like to go? Heck yeah, I've only wanted to see them for years. So, for Memorial Weekend we went to the museum and my Partial dream came true. I didn't go to China, China came to me. The Bowers Museum outdoors: Inside the permanent exhibit: Inside the TerraCotta exhibit we were not allowed to take photos...this is a pic out of a book of a Kneeling Archer soilder. It was an awesome exhibit. I sat down on a bench in front of the Kneeling Archers and just was. A young man came and sat next to me, fumbling with his sketchbook. A desire came over me and I asked for a sheet of paper. I didn't know if I would write a poem, draw, what...then I started sketching his brow, face...worked my way down and found myself in a state of timelessness. I haven't rendered a still life in probably 6 or 7 years. It felt good to blend a new-found passion within and realize I still had all that old technique. It was interesting to observe people who stood right in front of me and the sculpture, not a clue to their overall surroundings, I just sat patiently and waited for each one of them to move as it occured. Some people were noticing my sketch, commenting and complimenting. I was so focused I didn't even really respond to them, I didn't want to. I could feel people pointing me out to others then coming over to look. People sat on the bench next to me, they came and went...I don't know how many. It felt really good to be that focused again. It said in the description of the sculpture that this warrior was from the Qin Dynasty (221-206 BC) and was considered to possibly be a "tai chi fighter" they called him. His hands are in odd positions because of the weapon he once held. I smile thinking about that ruler who did find his immortality. There we were thousands of years later admiring his work. The soilders weren't found until 1974 and blew the socks off of art historians & archeologists. The soilders are considered the 8th Wonder of the World. My partial dream came true. I say this because I realized while there I'll still have to fulfill the real dream...I still want to go to China and see the real deal, the enormity of the army standing there together. It's funny, I realized another partial dream recently. I've always told people I'd like to live in a cabin in the trees not far from the ocean. It occurred to me that I already do. I live in a bedroom lined with redwood in a home surrounded by trees about a half hour from the beach...yet someday, my own whole cabin, in a real, large, rustic forest....maybe even closer to the beach is where I'd like to be...we'll see what happens...

Memory Lane on Memorial Weekend

Written by Susan Brown

I was driving in Santa Ana, on the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend, following directions, when I looked up and saw this street sign: Memory Lane. Funny, I laughed. Strolling down Memory Lane, I had already been daydreaming and talking about old memories in the days leading up to that day...and knew I would be speaking to a friend about some things I hadn't talked about in a long time, later on that day. Memorial Day is a special holiday. It used to be that my family would watch old war movies as a way to honor those who had died for us, for what they believed in. I went to a church today that reminded us that we wouldn't be sitting there in a loving community, meeting each other freely, without the way our country was created and protected. Whether war is just or not, or is really an answer or not, people have died to protect us from who they believed would harm us. I honor those who came before us...all of the generations that led to me. Native Americans believe it is important to fully comprehend ones actions by knowing that the choices you make will affect the 7 generations following you. Intense, yet true. I wouldn't be sitting here it it weren't for the incomprehensible amount of decisions that were made by my ancestors. I am grateful for those choices made. I am grateful to be where I am today, all of the people that have come and gone in my life, some I may never see again. I hope people are alright wherever they are or have gone to. This is why I feel it's imporant to do the best I can to treat people with kindness and hopefully leave everything better than I found it. We all make plenty of mistakes...and learn the same or similar lessons in the end...or we may never learn a particular lesson...I'm finding myself learning to be comfortable with uncertainty and allow others their space and grace. On this Memorial Weekend, I'll be giving gratitude for all that has come before me and will come in the future. Ha, I just remembered reading a tea bag quote the other day that said "Love the future by loving what has come before."

A Good Education...Priceless

Written by Susan Brown

Pulling in to a coffee shop the other day I saw these messages on someones window. I went in to find the owner of the car and speak with them...asking around some other people inferred that the messages about the quality of education were probably about a Proposition in CA coming up that will take funds away from our public schools. I hadn't heard anything about it until then. Two men cracked a joke about the "keep the quality in public education" and said it should say "IMPROVE the quality in public education." Everyone around the tables guessed that the author was a teacher...I couldn't find the person anywhere so I went to my car to write a note and leave it, asking permission to use the messages on the site...soon enough she appeared. She was a public school teacher after all (preferred not to have her pic taken) and explained to me about the proposition, saying how our Govenator will be taking funds away. I thought it was interesting that she didn't write anywhere "Vote Yes" or "Vote No" on Prop whatever it is...that she left it up to others, in some sense, to figure it out. I still don't know what Prop it is/was. I suppose I'll find out soon or at the ballot box.

Save a Cow, Eat a Gnome

Written by Susan Brown

I was driving to yoga one day and saw this sticker. I laughed out loud in the car. The driver was pulling into the same shopping center I was going, where the studio and a Henry's Market is. I decided to follow the guy and take a pic...I would have approached the driver and asked about the sticker, yet, by the time I got there he had already gotten fairly far away & I was on a schedule. I just thought this sticker was hilarious & pretty imaginative. Being almost vegetarian, it makes sense to me...flesh is flesh. I believe people are free to choose whatever they want, for me, at this time, I choose to not eat meat, though I have been eating ocean animals, until recently. A nutritionist once told me that when you make a change to your diet like no longer eating meats, that it's a good idea to allow at least 6 months to let the body adjust. It's been over 6 months since I stopped eating all meats (except fish) and I'm starting to feel like I may be able to not eat fish either. My main problem is sushi. Suchi is my favorite food, and now, if I want to be vegetarian, the sushi bar is my main lion's den. How do I eat sushi without fish? Ahhh....I suppose I could learn. I read in a book recently that anything you abstain from becomes sacred, like chastity or meat or alcohol. Something to think about. Purposeful abstinence making that thing sacred...then when it comes time to be with that thing if so desired, such as alcohol, it becomes a more heightened or sacred event/experience...It's about moderation, and being truthful with onesself I suppose.

Iraq War Dollar

Written by Susan Brown

"The Iraq War is costing you 7 billion 1 month." I don't know if that's technically true, however, this bill withdrew a reaction out of me I thought was a testament to the attitudes/feelings of the times. I thought it was really clever that someone would write this message directly on the money I'm spending...it got me to think. It served it's purpose. Just like the death penalty...my tax money goes to events like those. How do I feel about that. How do you feel about that? I think to have the awareness of how it's all connected is enough for me to know now. Do I want to take action to foster change?

Keep Moving Through in Oregon & Washington

Written by Susan Brown

A trip to brighten my spirits... Waiting for take off in San Diego, 7 am  / Mount Shasta, Northern CA Time travel To the month ahead Can we go there, together? If I see the future      will I change it      will it be different From seeing it now Time travelling      in an airplane We couldn't do this      before machines were born Time travel We fly!!! In a car We couldn't do this      before horses were born Time travel      before our legs could walk Time travel      soaring above Galactic plane      time travel stealthly Flight attendant Usher me in, to a new realm Where are we going? Flight attendant Journey, journeywork Journeywork into my soul Retrieve what has been lost The power I gave away Circluar & square markings      of a beast, the farms on grounds Time to travel backward      to a place where notions began Travel backward To Before Choose the choices      of memory At once, they served me But do they now? The School of Life The School of Hardknocks Knocking at my door      the threshold From One to another Time travel through the snowy mountins      the stormy seas Into the bliss, the hell, the waking Lifted up by clouds and moonbeams The firescape below, the firey landscape below Into the depths and upwards Our universe expands        After years of wondering about Oregon, I'm here!!! Orchid, a friend from a yoga workshop we took in Sedona, invited me to stay with her. So I took her up on the offer and am delighted to finally be here...getting to know my new friend and exploring this place.      The first evening we went to a fundraiser for the Tryon Farm, a place designed for Sustainable Ecology Education. It was a very healing place to be, when we came upon the farm from the trail I felt a huge sigh of relief throughout my being. Children were running around with bare feet, people were mosying through the gardens, there were activities like basket weaving, educational mushroom walks, etc. I meandered around and found myself in one of the community living quarters where I received a table massage. I felt so safe and open there. Living quarters   /   Mushroom education walk  Little friend   /   Tree quarters      There was some amazing, heartfelt, jammin' music. It was really great to enjoy the variety of folky hip-hop, acoustic, electro-funk, and spirituals. There were some participatory songs like kirtans, etc...lots of people brought their own instruments and would improv along. I found myself sitting next to a young man playing the largest digeridoo I've ever seen. Listening to his breath and rythms gave me the feeling I was meant to be there. SaraTone   /   Alpaca!      With nightfall firedancers appeared. Smoke from a small fire flew across the sky as the stars came out. We smudged ourselves and spoke of sacred stories such as the White Buffalo Calf Woman, spoke understandings of consciousness shift, philospohies and curiosities we have. I was pleasantly comfortable and surprised to have such a spontaneous, abundant healing experience on the farm. We were there for hours.      The next morning I had much lucid dreaming, messages that came through from others in my life. Gratitude and Inspiration. My dreamscape was another space for me to listen and grow. I went for a walk around Portland and found some of these views:      Back at Orchid's place, I watched as she and her housemate, Odette, were gardening in their new backyard.      After a while I left for a few hours to the coffee shop across the street. On my way back I heard the lullibic sound of guitar and sax wafting through the streets. It was coming from a club two doors down. I smiled knowing that I'd be listening to this soulfull live music in Orchid's backyard for the next while when I got back to their house. These pictures are veiws of the band playing across the way & the sunset from their back porch:      I am relieved to discover what an amazing place Portland is. Great food (I was surprised how much vegatarian, vegan, local, organic & sustainable choices there were everywhere), comfortable, earthy coffee shops (one place had more than 10 different choices of Chai to choose from), great music, great art...murals throughout the city, and green, green, green. Green trees, green grass, and eco-consciousness. I have heard that Portland is the leading bicycle commuter city in the US, and while there I was shown a map specifically color coded with the types of bike routes all throughout, just like a regular highway system map. Portland overall seemed like a Pacific New England...that's all I can compare it to, other than Northern CA, however, having a Life of its own, a defined unique personality.      For the last ten years people have been encouraging or discouraging me to cut my hair. It has been very long since I was a child. It has been a strong part of my identity. People were often surprised when I let my hair down (because it 's usually worn up), they would compliment me, dote over it, etc...it felt beautiful, especially when I swam and strode out of waters, like a mermaid.      My ex-boyfiend used to show me Maury Povich shows of people with drastically long hair gettting it cut, being “made over,” and how happy their friends and family were. I silently refused to cut mine, I didn't want to, and I felt I couldn't go through with it. It was a part of me, like a limb. I observed that the people on the show appeared to be doing it for what I perceived were superficial reasons...to make others happy, to look better, etc. Yet, hey, if it makes them happy, why not? Years later my ex apologized, acknowledging that he, unconciously at the time, wanted me to cut my hair because we were unhappy in the relationship and thought a change might somehow make things better. Other people have told me to never cut my hair.      About two years ago I began more seriously considering letting my hair go. I felt that the only way I could do it would be for Locks of Love, to give it to kids with cancer, or whomever they give it to. I heard a story on National Public Radio about a little girl who keeps growing out her hair for the sole purpose of giving it away. I thought of how selfless that is and in some sense felt guilty for being so attached to mine. My hair has been long since I was a small child. It's been more than 20 years since my hair was shoulder length or less than. History, in some essence, is stored in the hair. The length of my hair generally stored up to the last 10 years of my history, my life, what I've been through.      Some say it's really difficult to regrow your hair long after it's been cut. It may be. Like tatoos. I knew that with my first tatoo, I was risking the possiblity that over the years they would multiply, and they did. To be honest, I wear my hair up so much, what's the difference anyway? I had a friend in high school who used to tease me by pretending to slick back his hair and get in a running stance. He would say “You're so fast, Sue Bear,” insinuating that my hair was so tightly worn it made me more aerodynamic.      So, recently I've been slowing down, relaxing. Realizing that Rome wasn't built in a day. That “letting my hair down” and going with the flow is really good for me. It reminds me off all the times my car has been rear-ended...it was like my past was racing up from behind me, slamming into my present, shouting at me to WAKE UP!!! I've spent too much time pining over the past and too much time thinking about the future. When in reality dreaming, or dreaming reality, I don't know what's around the corner tomorrow...and I get to decide how to view experiences now and in the past. Cutting my hair short forces me to “let it down” all the time.      I called an old friend, also in Portland, and told her I was ready. Being a hairdresser, Deynce said she was honored to cut my hair for me. We met at her studio called “Akemi,” which I found means bright & beautiful in Japanese. I met Denyce for the first time in two years, and her 3 year-old son, Quay, for the first time.      The experience of knowing I would be cutting my hair was a long, gradual process. The morning it came time to do it I couldn't sleep. I waved in and out of slumber, attempting to get more rest. At some point that morning I did fall back into partial sleep for awhile, and when I woke up I was laying on my stomach and my right arm was strecthed upwards...I was lightly holding a handful of my hair at the back of my head. It surprised me that somehow, unconsciously, probably due to my anxiety, I was holding my hair safely in my sleep. That has never happened to me before. I eventually made my way to the salon. Orchid asked me in the car if I was ready. I replied that ”it's like childbirth, you'll never be 'ready'” I said, “you can prepare all you want,” it's something that's just to be done and experienced.      My body felt strange that whole morning, tingly, floaty, I had trouble eating...when I sat in the salon chair, Quay, her three year-old, playing in the studio came as a relief to me, a distraction from my nerves. We talked about what I wanted, had it in a pony tail, and she asked me if I wanted to watch it being cut and how I wanted the hair to handed to me when it was over (she was very sensitive to my needs) I said I didn't want to watch and couldn't answer after that. As the cutting was prolonged I finally came to a point when I didn't want to talk about it anymore...I said, “just do it.” I closed my eyes and felt her cutting. Eyes closed...feeling her cut through it in layers...when she was finished and held it in her hands I began to cry immensely. Everything, everyone in the studio became quiet...I felt that I was in a sacred space. It didn't matter what was going on around me. I felt safe. When I finished crying she handed me my hair and told me how she could feel the energy held in it when it was cut off...that her arm began tingling all over as soon as it was seperated from me, that it really felt to her like a letting go of the past for me.      Then we went to the sink and washed my hair, then back to the chair to cut and style some more. While she was styling, I held my old hair in my lap and played with it, almost like it belonged to someone else, which in some essence, it now did. It now belonged to Locks of Love to make a wig or two for chemotherapy patients. I braided a little cornrow thinking I might keep some of it...then I thought, why? Why would I want any of this anymore? I'd rather it all be in my memory.      Denyce, Quay, and I had lunch, said our farewells, then I walked back to Orchid's place...wild hair fluffed out. I found some more great views of Portland.      When I got back, I took a shower and it felt great. I was laughing at myself for all those years of mulling over cutting my hair. I spent so much time freaking myself out that I was pleasantly surprised and comfortable to have it short for the first time since age 5 or 6. As days went on...now writing this blog, I have not woken up in the morning shocked or regretful at all. I've had way more anxiety over tatoos when I would awake in the mornings afterward and realize what I had done. I thought it would be a lot more shocking to my system to have my hair cut, and it wasn't.      Later, my friend Alton picked me up for a drive to see Astoria for the first time. It was beautiful driving through the country. Being an '80s child, watching The Goonies 14 million times; when I figured out Astoria was a real town in Oregon, I decided I had to go see it someday. That was years ago...so this little drive to Astoria was like a childhood dream come true, to see the real town. It rained that day, I had a feeling it would. Alton and I ran around taking photos of the old, weather-worn Victorian homes...and I proclaimed my dorky Goonie-ness in front of the town sign (my sister bought me the shirt for x-mas years ago, now put to good use.) I was an ultra-tourist!! It was pleasantly embarrassing and I had to do it!!      We drove further north up the coast, across a five-mile bridge that crosses the Columbia river, linking Oregon and Washington state. Crusing along, now in Washington, we decided to go see where the Columbia meets the Pacific Ocean. Alton and I had been talking much about love and relationships throughout the day...the dynamics of giving & receiving, break-ups, divorce, etc., so I had to laugh when I found out where we were going to see the river & ocean meet was called Cape Dissapointment. Gotta have some humor. Where the Pacific & Columbia meet:        Up on the top of the Cape, a bald eagle magically floated toward me. I wasn't sure who it was at first and was staring in disbelief when I realized it was an eagle. It was another sacred, indescribable moment of the trip. Then walking back on the trail, another bald eagle appeared. It stayed hovering above me for so long I could have taken a photo, but something held me back. I just stared in amazement, honored and humbled, and felt the Freedom. I understood why the bird became a symbol of our country...I could feel the freedom emminating from it. It soared over me, knowing I was there, watching.   Back in the car, the sun began to set and these words came to me:   Bald Eagle Solemnly beautiful Cape Disappointment Are we there yet Always there Numb fingers Blind heart Reflective of      what was found & lost With you        So after all this, what's the driven message?...though I wrote nothing new on my car which was left back at home... Even when surrounded by feelings of dissapoinment and despair, life is beautiful. Keep breathing one breath at a time, keep beating one heartbeat at a time, each movement forward one step at a time. Keep Moving Through. (Spiral Cloud above Catalina Island, off the coast of SoCal)

Earth Day (thoughts, poems & pics)

Written by Susan Brown

(Photos were taken in honor of Earth Day, 4/20-4/22/08, So. CA) Being grounded in the energy of the Earth means, to me, listening to the drumbeat, the heartbeat of all cultures. Africa is deep and rich with this understanding, and it is said that we are all derived from this place. Most all ancient cultures traditions, archetypal stories speak of our Origins. Some Native American and other indigenous, tribal people speak of space there people inhabit/ed as being the center of the Earth, that a long time ago we originated from there. No matter where, be it Africa, Indonesia, the Americans, Panacea: we all believe where we stand is the center of the Earth, the center of the Universe simply because it is...like a child, we are the center of our own universe. Where we stand is the Center.   We must ingest food to stay grounded. If we did not eat physical material to weigh us down we would float away, our body would cease to function and our sprirt energy would leave the body...so what essences do I want to ingest? Eating another ground or flight animal weighs me down and sustains me, plant materials are lighter and needed more frequently, possibly, and things that live in the ocean keep my soul swimming somehow. Who touched all of the food that ends up on my plate? I know the sun, Earth, water, and air did...what about all of the human activity it took to get there? Were the people who handled it angry, happy, sad, in love, all of the above? Does it really matter? We set out on these days, these thousands and thousands of times eating, trusting eachother. I don't know where my decaffienated chocolate tea came from...nor the “Lake Tahoe” cup it's resting in, how did the blue paint on my coffee cup get there, who designed the cups' shape and size; the pencil sketch on what napkin in a bar? We are mini-creators. To think is to create. To be created in God's image can mean that we are mini-creators. So are cats and dogs. Shall I worship my cat like the Egyptians did? EARTH. OUR HOME. Where else can we go? Some think the term “Earth Mother” is against their religion...I'm not sure it is understood that we were born from it and will go back to it. What if I die on the moon? Can I be reborn on Neptune? Where would my soul/energy go if there is no “life” after death? Back to plants. We could not survive without them...they must be protected. Humans breathe out carbon dioxide for the trees to breathe in and breathe out oxygen for us to breathe in. A Cherokee friend explained to me that we are forever committed to plants and us to them...that as humankind suffers from disease it is the plants who save us. The animals have grown tired of our abuse, yet it is the plants who willingly give Tylenol, traditional herbal remedies, and Penicillin. Without them where would we be? Without breath. Without medicine.        On climate change... I wise man once said      “If this weather keeps up,           there won't be anymore                Summer or Winter.” I thought,      “What if climatization           will balance                 the seasons.” What will we become? In our hearts heating up, from the Inside Out We will burn We will burn We will burn All Our Relations, plants, animals A firey passionate hell   Water, please Water Please Waters of Creation Subsiding our burning hearts   A flash of the purest flame Searing our damnation Cotarizing the flesh Purifying the Earth Of her compounding disease, Humans   Unless we turn Turn, turn upon this body Heal her with the cool air, the soothing waters   Calm the hot-headed ones That think with jealousy, greed & envy Cool the hot-headedness with Mother's Milk With tenderness, compassion, Love   Let fires burn in our hearts And waters stream through the body Through and through our minds Flowing like clouds in the sky Airy and Brave Standing apart from the blue sky White and pure   Set the seasons apart Or not?        On the winged ones... The Birds Sing      for us to stay alive Stay Alive We call upon you Rays of sun illuminating      from our throats Call upon you To dash out into the      Light To re-member What you were born for What you are here for Now! Align with your senses The Birds are calling      oriole      oriole      oriole It is nearing summer Sunshine is here

Good Day: Life & Death...Poem from Isabella

Written by Susan Brown

I wanted to wish whomever would read my car a good day. Good-day, mate. The interesting thing about the time period in which this was on my car, was that it was one of the most mentally & emotionally challenging weeks I've had in a long time. Several losses occurred, leaving room for the new. Sometimes I wonder if “losing” something is really a loss since whatever we “lose” leaves open space for something new to come in. Losing a loved one in death leaves the opportunity for a new relationship with that person. Not being able to be around someone physically when you want to can be difficult to bare, longing for a hug or a smile. When my grandmother passed I was astonished to find that in her physical place, I now had a more spiritual and clair-audio relationship with her which I wouldn't have had she still been around physically. I wise man once told me “Hearts are never broken, only expectations are.” That's right. My heart beats strong and every moment it's pulsing I am still alive. It's the mind that can get in the way so much. The heart does long and desire, however, it is our viewpoint that has us believing, wishing, hoping for some dream to come true. And sometimes when those special dreams come true, it is so surreal and beautiful we find ourselves asking “Is this really real?” “I must be dreaming.” And then we are left thinking “Why did it take me so long? I should have done this sooner.” “What was all the fuss about?” The Process. The Journey. That was the fuss. Some things are worth the effort...and when we work so hard and so hard for something to finally come true, it's amazing when it does and it can feel strange when it's actually happening. Usually that thing comes true when we stop trying so hard and just surrender. Just be. Recognize that things are the way they are. In my high school year book my senior quote was “Change is inevitable. Acceptance is the key.” Ha. Nowadays, I ought to listen to my younger self more often. With my recent losses it was traumatic enough to my system that I lost about 8 pounds. Now that might not seem like much, but it's actually about 10% of my body weight given that I usually fluctuate between 97 and 102 pounds on any given day, and I lost it within a few days. I had trouble sleeping, eating, there was much time I spent knowing I shouldn't drive. I walked a lot, went to yoga, talked with good friends...it even hurt emotionally to try to distract myself with a movie. The first time I went to drive and listen to music my perception had changed so much it was a audio-hallucinogenic experience. I got in the car and didn't want any music. Knew it would be too much for me. Then I looked at the cd player and thought, “I'll trust. Whatever is in there is meant to be.” It's a 6 cd changer and I had no idea what I had left in it and what would be next. I turned it on to find it at the very beginning of a Fleetwood Mac cd I've known most of my life. It was so healing I could hardly stand it. I turned it up so loud...I was overwhelmed with how cosmically the lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear. That whole day turned into a day of healing through music. A few days later I began to realize that the weight loss was symbollic in itself...that when I lost weight it was to rid myself of old energy, useless life patterns, and so on...and with that loss I now get to replace it with better things: good food, good energy, whatever I want. I also noticed my hair had begun to come down more--literally and figuratively. As I live a more relaxed life I tend not to pull my hair back so much and just let it loose. Another action that has been such a blessing at this time is no alarm clock. I am so fortunate to hold a job in which I make my own hours. I have been able to simply trust that my being will just wake me up when it needs to...even if I know I want to go to the 7 am yoga class the next morning, if I'm meant to go my body will wake me up. I have to truly trust myself. So, what is a “good” day and what is a “bad” day? Who's to say something is good or bad: it's all relative. A child getting kidnapped may be a bad thing, yet when dad decides to create a show: America's Most Wanted, the kidnapping becomes good from what resulted from it. Though underneath “good” “bad” “right” and “wrong” I do believe there are essential, universal aspects.Truth, Justice...and that it may only be defined by me...you have yours, I have mine...however: What is the Truth that applies to All? As part of my volunteer work with the Trauma Intervention Program of San Diego, we listened to a couple speak about their child who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and the pain that occurred and how they then created a charity to raise money for special premature infant incubators. The group is called Isabella's Giraffe Club. ( www.superkidslive.com ) The couple said that their infant, Isabella, graced their lives with beauty, came with a purpose and left with a purpose. She was only a few months old and was here for exactly as long as she needed to be. That's what they said and sang about. The couple gave us all bookmarks after their presentation. They read:        Lessons from Isabella She taught us to dedicate time to what's important... and we found the joy of serving   She taught us to slow down... And we found peace   She taught us to surrender... and we found the unexpected surprises in letting go   She taught us to expose our hearts... and we found true love   Some people might allow the mind to bring them so far as to commit suicide when their child dies, some create from it. Growth or decay. Which one do I want? That depends on the subject. Sometimes something has to decay and die to morph and transmute into the next form. Energy. My soul leaves my body, where does it go? Does it have free will to choose? Could the soul choose though there is no more body and possibly mind? Some people believe so. Some people believe we choose our next life to incarnate into. They believe that I chose this life, this time period, this family. I have something to learn from these people, this situation, this Human Experiment. I have found that every single human I come in contact with is my teacher (the same is true for the plants, animals, the sky, the Earth). Each one is a mirror of me. If I see something I don't like, it is something to look at and consider. I don't believe this is “self-centered” in a “bad” way if I am using it in order to be self-aware and serve human/naturekind. Someone once said to me that the news or newspaper is the prayer list for the day. Amen. Rather than moping about how horrible the world is today I prefer to feel the anger or sadness and turn it into compassion for those who have gone astray. Sometimes they've gone astray to some really far places. Where were they? What happened to their conscience? What took over when they were performing their horrible deed? Or rather, the better question would be: How did they come to that place/space in their life? I don't think we are born with guns in our hands, yet we must be held responsible if we choose to use one. Would writing “Good day” on my car spark anyone to smile or think about their day? Maybe it would just piss them off because they're already having a horrible day. As part of my volunteer work this weekend I drove to the hospital and helped a man cope through a trauma. I realized walking back to my car how most of the people walking around in that parking probably weren't seeing it as a “good day,” being that they were at the hospital for some reason. Or, then again maybe they were. Maybe the doctors just saved their mom's life. Do my messages really even have a positive affect if it's all about perception anyway? I received a pretty good reaction from the message “Have you smiled at a stranger today?” yet even that could spark someone to laugh and say“How stupid, who cares?” I heard a story on NPR today about a bank owner in New Orleans who let people take a max of $500 out a day and still kept his ATM's open after the flooding. He gave out loans to people who had no proof of anything, no peperwork to speak of. After all was said and done he ended up over a million dollars in the hole. Not bad considering how much more dishonest people could have been. He didn't mind about the debt he allowed people to create for him. This man is in his early 60's and he said that his mentor once said to him—97% of people are honest, so might as well run your business and life that way. Wow. That's trust. I hope that bank owner has a lot of good days.

A Clean Slate: a photojournal of roadtrippin' through CA (LOTS OF PICS!!!)

Written by Susan Brown

As I wiped off my back window from the previous message, I found myself quite comfortable to have a Clean Slate beginning our road trip. I didn't know if I would find a time/place/space that a message would come to me during our journey or not. As my dear friend and I drove from San Diego county up much of the coast to Humboldt...then back down through Shasta country and the Central Valley...there was nothing more to say, then to just BE. It wasn't until soon after the trip, back home, another message came to me. So I suppose, for me, these photos are a visual representation of where I was in my life at the time; reaching for a clean slate, striving to maintain an open mind and pure heart...

Trust your Soul: A journey to Sedona and Beyond

Written by Susan Brown

March, 2008 I was recently in Sedona, Arizona for a workshop through my yoga studio. The weekend was called the YEHA Dahn Mudo Camp. YEHA stands for Young Earth Human Alliance...it's for people who have great vision and purpose in healing society and the Earth however they may...the weekend was a mixture of yoga, tai chi, martial arts, massage, energy work, meditation, etc. I met some amazing, passionate people and experienced a lot of emotional release through physical and spiritual training. During one excersice we called upon the energy of heaven and earth and were listening to beautiful music accompanied by the sound of strong rains...it was a clear, bright, sunny day that morning, we had our eyes closed during this exercise, and when I opened my eyes I was so shocked and amazed to see that little trickles of snow had begun falling, it was snowing!! There was already snow on the ground...how long had we been meditating and calling upon the rain? It was so beautiful I began to cry. Then I watched as other people in the room began to notice the snow and be as surprised as I was. Apparently it is rare for Sedona to get snow so late in the year, I was told later. There are so many more indescribable parts of the trip...   As we were about to head home I explained to one of my new friends, Leslie, about drivenmessages and asked her to help me come up with a message. She said to find three words to describe the weekend. “Trust Your Soul” came to mind instantly...follow your heart and trust you soul...Truth. Many hours later, at 2 am, we were almost home...Leslie was asleep and Kimberly my other new-found friend and passenger and I were still awake. We had gotten off the freeway and were on surface streets...aware that it was St. Patrick's Day, we started noticing the subtlely dangerous driving going on as the hours grew. While pulling up to a stop light two young men in a Mustang came screaching up along the left side of my car two lanes away, they were going into the left turn lane at our light. I could sense them coming long before I heard or saw them (especially after all the energy training), they were drunk and looking to vent. When they approached us they were screaming and flipping us off, the passenger man was leaning all the way out the window. Kimberly and I looked at each other with amazement. "Wow, they were really angry." Kimberly quickly realized that my statement "trust your soul" is in some ways, making me a target. I realized this when I began the drivenmessages journey and have been pursuing it anyway. (In fact, there have been times when I became lax about the messages.  I had written "Put a smile on someone's face today" on the window a while back and kept it there for 4-6 weeks and never changed it, never took a picture, or blogged about it. I hope that in some way it still made some kind of difference to people. ) Anyway...Kimberly and I talked for a while about how being positive and loving can also make you a target...that you are then vunerable. At one point I said to her facitiously, "well, imagine you've been drinking all night, have stayed 'till the bar closed, and here are these happy, peaceful little girls, flowers in their hair (figuratively) with "trust your soul" on their window. She looked at me and understood what I was saying. It is clear that if inner strength, vision, peace, and your commitment to it are your purpose...be it known that there will be many obstacles. I was a little hurt by the men at first, and when I dug a layer deeper I found the pain was really because I was sad for them. It's really unfortunate how unhappy and angry people are. I began thinking about Iraq, how those Mustang men weren't far from weilding an AK-47 out of the window and if they were passionate enough, they really could have guns and kill people...it's going on this very minute right now. As I sit in this coffee shop writing a blog, attempting to make a difference in the conciousness of humanity there are children dying of starvation, women being raped and sodomized...WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!!!!!!!!!! I want to do my best to contribute to healing society and making a difference in the world. I can't help thinking, if those men were as passionate about screaming "f@*k you" to a couple of young women on the road at night as they were about helping people in their lives, building a home for someone in need or finding funds to give to cancer research, or by expressing something inside them waiting to explode, our world would be a better place.   It only takes so much of us, of our consciousness shift towards love, creativity, and abundance to affect the world...more and more children are being born with miraculous energetic capabilities and wisdom....have generations before us thought the same as I do? Will we always be striving for hope? When will our planet unite and take care of everyone in need? When will more of us do our best to maintain inner peace and actually take care of ourselves? Maybe some people are destined to be "bad seeds" but do you really believe that? Do you really believe that when an infant comes into the world with purity, innocence, and passion, that s/he strives to kill people someday? Everyone is someones child. When we love our children more than our belief systems the killing will stop. (Some may say that I'm young and have high ideals; will I feel the same 30 years from now when time may beat down my optimism, or will I stay strong and carry hope? For now, I'll take my idealism and run with it.) Killing in the name of God is one of the most poposterious notions I've ever known. People like Ghandi had the inner strength and fortitude to surrender to peace and love. Yes, people died in order to free India, yet each one of those individual people died with the conviction and hope that nonviolence was the answer, that eventually the perpetrators would see the senselessness of their actions. Ghandi didn't sacrifice lives for the greater good, each individual person made that choice to believe in his message, and gave their life for it. I'd rather give my life in the name of peace and love than in the name of anything else...this body will die, my soul will not. I want to truly thank from the bottom of my heart whomever has really taken the time to read this whole blog... In gratitude to my family, friends, and all around me for being a part of my human experience.   I believe that though there are wars and intolerance...in the spirit of true HOPE I choose to believe that this is all a reflection of the process of our souls...we are forever evolving, with darkness comes light and so forth. This is a delicate balance we live in. The Great Human Experiment. Maybe next time I'll be a tree or a bird, wouldn't that be nice? Or another human who knows to be the guardian of this place, animals, environment, each other...to stand up for what I believe in (even when I make mistakes and falter) and eventually through living this life, die for it.

A Beautiful Birth

Written by Susan Brown

I drove a friend to a birthing center recently...she was due in about 2 days. On our way back to her house, an hour drive away, we decided to stop for lunch at the local mall. She was very anxious about having her first child and was questioning certain details. Talking in the car, I took her hand and reminded her that everything would be alright. Everything will happen as it is meant to, she agreed, she knows this...talking and talking we pull up to the mall, I drive aimlessly looking for a spot, we turn the corner and there it is, Expected Mother Parking signs!!!Three of them in a row. I knew I had seen this before and it had completely left my memory. How nice it was for someone to be considerate enough to create those, especially for women in the last stage of the pregnancy when they can barely walk anymore. We laughed for awhile about it as we pulled up, yeah, everything will be alright. Later that night after I dropped her off, she went into labor and had the baby naturally at home with a friend and a midwife, just like she wanted. It was a beautiful birth she told me, just like she wanted.

DSTNY2

Written by Susan Brown

I was out driving with a friend when we noticed this plate in front of us. We started joking about "following our Destiny," and decided to actually follow the car around San Diego. We had no where to be at any time, so where was our destiny going? Laughing & goofing off following the car, my friend gets a phone call from someone who is sick and he offers to bring her some giner ale. Then we pondered: continue to follow our destiny, or find a store for ginger ale? We continue to follow our destiny...it takes us on some odd backroads behind the Stadium, when they could have just stayed on the connecting freeways, the driving was a bit erratic. The Destiny just happens to be going in the same direction as the apartment of the sick friend. We wonder if our Destiny knows we are following, we've been pretty close behind...it begins to seem as if they might have figured we're following and still makes erratic decisions. So we come to a clear choice...turn left for friends' apartment, or go straight follow our Destiny, we decide to go to the apartment and at the last moment, the Destiny pulls in front of us and also turns left...to our hysterical amazement the Destiny, still in front of us, gets off on the exact freeway exit we need to, then also turns in to the shopping complex we had already decided to get ginger ale at. We couldn't believe that this car was turning everywhere we needed to go in order to get the ale to the sick person. We were in hysterics laughing...finally, the Destiny turned into a McDonalds drive-thru and we decided to go get the ale...yet it all seemed to good to pass up, after following our Destiny for 20 minutes all around San Diego back streets & freeways I had to find out what the plate was about. After driving to the market, I changed my mind right before going in and yelled for us to go back...when we got there I walked into the exit of the drive-thru line and the woman driving the Destiny had just gotten her food and was about to leave. I asked her to roll down her window...she clearly thought I was crazy and looked at me like I might do something to her. I told her we had be following her because we thought it was funny to "follow our destiny," and asked if she had noticed, she said no. I asked about the origin of the plate and she said it was a long story and was ver personal and important to her. I told her about the website and asked if she would pull out and over so she could tell me about it...she looked at me again as if I were crazy, said thank you for admiring the plate, and that she had to go...I suppose I wasn't meant to know about the origin of my destiny or where it is going...

Love Comes From Within

Written by Susan Brown

January 2008 Love is generating from within ones self. You cannot give me love, I can only open my heart to receive it. No one needs to give me love for me to feel it for myself, for nature, for a higher self. Nature seems to be key. I cannot look at the ocean, the mountains, or a sunset and feel hate in my heart. The worst I can feel is sadness or worry at first, but in nature, I always feel a sense of hope and my worries and sadness leave me. I was thinking about physical touch and how often this is equated with love, the closeness of affection, a hug, a kiss. Yet I could be depressed and in a horrible state of mind while someone is attempting to show me love, give me a hug. It is up to me to accept love into my heart, love comes from within. I generate my emotions, my experiences. That's not to say there are not consequences for my actions. I could leave my belongings behind, drive off into fields and never be seen again. Free will, free choice, yet there are benefits and prices to pay for these decisions I make. So often our society believes they will be happy when they acquire something like a relationship, money, things, etc. They (and I have and try not to) walk through life thinking I'll be happy when...and when I get whatever I am still not happy. BE HAPPY and then do things to have things if I want. "To be or not to be," I think I'm finally understanding that statement to some degree. So, be in love, generate my own love energy...

Open Your Mind

Written by Susan Brown

January 2008   A friend of mine and I went to see the broadway show "Wicked" in Los Angeles the other day. It was an absolutely amazing show. I got chills several times and teary-eyed too. It's our ritual that at the end of an evening hanging out we write a new message on his car. He comes up with the message and I write it. It seems that the rule has become to write whatever first comes to his mind, and this time it was "open your mind." It was inspired by the show because he was shocked to see a different version of The Wizard of Oz..an adult history of how many things occured before Dorothy's arrival. It paints the wicked witches in a light that offers compassion and understanding of and to them. It's about having experienced only one version of a story and being open to seeing many other sides. So, Open Your Mind to the possibilities. They are infinite.

Strength of Sobriety window etching...

Written by Susan Brown

January 2008 I saw this truck in front of me in town and followed it into the liquor store parking lot (ha) just to take a picture. I can respect and appreciate when people have had an addiction or not and find strength in their sobriety. For me, it's pretty normal to be sober and I've struggled with friends, etc. not being. I have finally come to the point in my life that I undertand that it's not really about me, people are going to do whatever they are going to do. I thought the etching was cool looking and was pondering how it was done...as the man stepped out of the truck I told him I was admiring the message and asked if I could take a picture. He told me that the truck was his friends' car and that he had cut the letters out of the tinting. I felt it was a pretty good reminder for me and what I've been through, dealing with painful issues of the past. I'm not as affected or judgemental as I once was, and of course, I wish the best health and long life upon everyone I know and don't know.

Religious License Plates keep appearing..

Written by Susan Brown

January 2008   I suppose I've been attracting some more God-like messages. I have been noticing license plates specifically with the word "Lord" in them. I grew up looking at all different kinds of religions and have spent my life seeking what spirituality, religion, and what God means to me. I have visited many places of worship and studied various religions in school and on my own. For New Year's Eve I went to my first Christian concert, hip-hop, reggae, rock fusion and definately felt both out-of-place and also comfortable at the same time. I realize that posting them on this site may appear to people that I am endorsing the belief in God or the Lord as a positive thing...and understand that bad seeds in various religions have created violence and hate out of the "Lord"...If I ever were to make a statement about my beliefs I would say that I am my own religion and that God, to me, is LOVE (Of course there's a lot more than that...)

MINDSET

Written by Susan Brown

1/8/08 That license plate I saw a week ago today reading:"MINDSET" was driving in front of me today, pulling up to the same parking lot I had seen it in before. I quickly found a spot to park and walked up to the driver wanting to ask what the plate was all about. She was an elderly woman, and I said, "Excuse me, I'm curious, I read your license plate, what's it all about?" She replied by saying that it's whatever someone's interpretation of it is. Yes! I love it! The mindset... that's really what it's all about isn't it? It reminded me of the interpretation of art or music, or just plain anything anywhere in life. To be talking to this stranger about generating one's own answers was really fulfilling. My state of mind was just mentioned in a conversation I had had the night before. The state of mind...I've also been thinking about when I have my "mind set" about something in my life, or not. She told me that I wouldn't believe how many people have asked her about the plate over the years and that she never would have known that would happen. Apparently people ask her about it all the time. So then I asked "How did it come to be?" She said she didn't know. I questioned "Well, you were just thinking of what to put on your plate and...?" She said that when it came time to register the car after she bought it, she had no idea where the word came from...and that all she wanted something easy to remember "without numbers." Wow, right on.

2008!!! And the Sun Keeps Rising

Written by Susan Brown

1/1/08    Went to a concert last night for New Year's Eve with a friend...got out at 1 am. We had a bought CDs from some of the artists and there was a track titled "Fantasy is Reality" on one of the albums. That's what my friend wanted to put on his car, which I thought was funny since a month or two ago I had written "The Fantasy is Real," yet, the song title sounds better...the words that came to me, which had actually been there a few days before was "And the Sun Keeps Rising." I encoutered some holiday blues this year that really had nothing to do with the time of year (or so it seems) and had to keep reminding myself each day is a new day. Like Vermonters saw about the weather, "You don't like it, wait two minutes." So, it was the first day of 2008. I kept seeing interesting personalized license plates on the road & parked...the two I managed to capture on camera were "MINDSET" and "2ULORD". My resolutions right now are to focus on: sincerity, solidarity, and Unconditional Love. I know these are lifelong pursuits, and these three words are what came to me when I asked for clarity of purpose.   1/2/08: This day was one of those "started off fussy" and got better throughout the day, days. Thank God. When I first walked into work and someone asked how I was, I said the typical "good" which wasn't very convincing, then Mark, the person who asked, who is very intuitive questioned/teased me on this. I smiled and he said "Well, there's always this beautiful sunrise to be thankful for." I honestly don't think he knows I have that message written on my car. Hmmmm. Then less then a half hour later I was having breakfast in the dining hall when the Medical Tech came by to give the lady I care for her pills. Another woman commented to her about how she usually sees her at sunrise. The Med Tech then talked about how she used to work during the sunrise shift, now she works later and her husband works during sunrise. Hmmm.

God Bless Us, Everyone

Written by Susan Brown

Happy Holidays, 2007  After a couple days of a blank slated-rear window my stepmom said, "I'm concerned, there's no message on your car." Oh, no!!! Somebody actually noticed, it was the first time I actually got so tired and busy I hadn't done anything in two days. Two days of silence I was thinking. So as I was leaving my dad's to run errands I yelled at my family up on the balcony, "What should I write?" Of course I got the typical "Merry Christmas," which I was already thinking beforehand is too specific, I like to be all-inclusive with "Happy Holidays" instead.Then someone said something about Jesus, and I thought that was even more specific...then my sister said "God bless us, everyone." Perfect. Great thoughts of old movies came up and I found myself connecting to that statement even more in my life than I ever have. Whether you believe in God or not, I know I have my own ideas of what that is to me, we all could use some blessing of some kind in our lives...carry the holiday spirit through the rest of year.

Stranger Messages...

Written by Susan Brown

December, 2007    So now that my eyes become fixated when I see window paint on other peoples cars, I've noticed a few things and taken pictures. I saw your typical sports writings on one car, however, I saw another one that really made me smile. I think it was written in crayon or something. Someone had "The Love Van" ("love" was a heart) written on their back window. That was pretty cute...and funny...The Love Van, huh? I wonder what goes on in there, and I wonder who wrote it; the actual owner/driver/whatever or one of their friends or family maybe? Anyway, it was funny.   A week or two later I can across another old van. This one had a funky paint job, fairly solid in color all the way around, except for on the passeger side door. There was a painting of kitty. Totally random. And it's surely is a "kitty," not a cat, or a kitten. It made me smile in it's preschool-like silliness. Who came up with this one?

POWSITV

Written by Susan Brown

December 19, 2007 About 3 weeks ago I was distributing flyers for my yoga studio, walking through a neighborhood when I saw a parked car with a license plate that read "POWSITV" (the "o" is a heart). I just thought it was too perfect for this site and took a picture. I walked around for another 20 minutes and went back to see that the car had gone. I was so happy that I took the picture right then and there. Often I think about taking a pic of something then don't do it. You'll never know...there one second then not. That's the story of life sometimes. So, I was driving from my yoga studio to have lunch about 5 miles from that neighborhood, and there it was again, three weeks later!!! Yoga again...I attempted to take a picture while driving, yet I didn't want to hold up the people behind me so I kept going...then I went to my caregiving job later that night I found that this old Japanese man that I love dearly and had just said hello to earlier this week had left the facility for good. He had gone to Hawaii to be with his family. If I had known I would have given hima hug. You never know when you'll see each person in your life for the last time. That license plate is too cool, it gave me pleasure to see it...I wonder if I'll ever see it again...which reminds me, just two days ago I saw the Gnarly Car parked outside the post office. It was really cool to see that too...haven't seen that one in even longer...

Peace within equals Peace on Earth

Written by Susan Brown

December 19, 2007 If each one of us truly surrendered to the loving being we really are, that small child some of us left a long time ago that still resides within, our world would be a much better place. When I have peace within, an angry person can approach me and I understand that I have nothing to do with their anger and I do not have to accept their frustrations as a part of me. Recently someone was "joking" with me (this happens often in my life, it's usually not really a joke, I can feel when it's play or not) and I felt a pain shoot into my heart. I was stunned. I did not know what to say. I replied with some information that clarified my position, just a flat statement in return, then they realized and said, "oh it doesn't really have to do with that, I was just joking." I wonder, could I protect myself enough to not be hurt? Or, is it even about protection? I can have my heart open and not be hurt at the same time...or maybe not...The feeling I felt in my heart was an actualy physical pain, the comment was completely unexpected. The person had previously been very understanding of my life choice, and now, out of nowhere, for the first time, I was been shot at. It hurt. Physically. In my heart. I was shocked then I told myself "don't take it personally" and stood there in silence wondering how to reply. I wasn't honest enough to say "ouch, that hurt" when in reality I could have cried right then and there. Crying wouldn't have done anything, accept for maybe release what I was feeling, than that person would have felt bad, even though they thought they were "joking." I suppose sometimes I do take things personally at first then have to work my way out of it. I would like to just be able to deflect anything...is that an enlightened being? To have inner peace is to observe all and be able to respond rather than react? Well, I responded, I did give it some thought before spoke, I just wonder if I could have been more affective. How have I become so sensitive? Why does it matter? How is it that I am saddened by a world of rampant painful remarks? I guess we're all human. I know I've shocked and hurt people. I'm pretty clear about not making fun of people, yet to be honest, I know I've hurt people in a lot bigger ways. Like years and years worth of not be honest with myself and others about not being happy in different life circumstances. Ahhh!!!! Whatever!!!! So, if each single person had inner peace, or the mass majority of us did, wouldn't we have world peace? Is world peace just the end of all wars, or does it keep going and going until bliss? It seems we cannot have dark without light and vice versa, it seems we cannot have insults without compliments and vice versa. It certainly would be nice to have world peace, is that heaven? Is there heaven on Earth? I know I have experienced it at times, and like I once heard a 4 year-old child once say to another 4 year-old "Heaven is here." Why wait? I might add. To experience pain, pleasure, emotions, the physical body, is all human. I am not my body, and it is mine. I am not my thoughts and they are mine...what about my spirit, is that mine? It seems to be...yet I may just leave this body and my energy will go wherever it goes...I may get to be a bird or a tree or a mountain someday. Anyway, some people may disagree with the quote on my car, at the least, it is thought-provoking and insinuates taking responsibility. Being angry about not having world peace just creates more disruptment, using that anger as passion and taking action is a whole other story...not caring whether or not we have world peace is yet another story, one of numbness. Did you know that (this has been scientifically observed, you can do it yourself) along with the regular care of a plant, if you tell a plant "I love you" it it will grow strongly, if you say "I hate you" it will grow somewhat, and here's the surprise: if you do nothing and ignore it, that's when it will be whithered, crumpled, and eventually die.

Share Live Love Life Continued...

Written by Susan Brown

December 13-18, 2007 So, the quote stayed alot longer...it has been quite a few days of sharing, living, loving, and just plain ol' "lifing." Sometimes I find myself really wanting to express things to people and find road blocks. This is where the "sharing" part comes in. How the heck are people supposed to know what I'm thinking or feeling if I never express it? In the past I've had a real hard time being able to "check in" with myself and know when I'm angry or whatever and being able to calmly talk to people about where I'm at before I drag it on and blow up someday. I certainly know I've gotten a lot better at staying present with it over the years. And how is it that some of the extra-sensory people I share time with are able to know when something's up within a split second of my voice? Or be so respectful of my personal timing that they adjust to my needs without me even telling them? For example, yesterday I asked a friend about a possiblity that had to do with a pretty big life change for me, he needed to run it by someone, did so within the next day and called me right away this morning to let it know it had been confirmed. I was so surprised that he got back to me so fast, pretty much literally in 12 hours because he knew that with the way I am about certain life things, I want to know what's going on ASAP. It's not to say I won't surredner to what is...that the universe has it's own timing for me...I guess I just like things confirmed so I can move as quickly a I want. Anyway...it's raining outside now, I beautiful, quite sound. I feel at peace and go within when I hear the sound of rain. This holiday season has been an adventure so far...I am making most of my presents this year and am happy to do so. It will be an original Christmas with my family. Wishing you the best...

Hangman's Deer

Written by Susan Brown

12/13/07 (photo on the way) A few weeks ago I noticed a road sign hanging up-side-down in my neighborhood. It was of a deer, to be careful and watch for them. I have seen deer in this neighborhood, a group of four of them, in fact, meandering about between and on the roof of a nearby house. I saw this sign and was struck by a lightning bolt of curiousity. In some spiritual circles the deer is symbollic of Gentility, be gentle with ones self and others. I suppose in some ways, I really haven't been living up to that. So I would pass by this sign everyday, took a photo at one point, and it stayed that way for a while. Somehow it also struck me that it had to do with being inverted, like the Hangman...in life, or in a deck of Tarot cards. I thought of the up-side-down deer as a message about gentleness, it was inverted, I had an inkling that I ought to be paying attention to how much, or not, I am being gentle with myself and others, and that I may not be doing the best I could. PAY ATTENTION, the sign said. And today, after some surrendering to being honest with others in different areas of my life, as I was driving up the road from the beach the sign had been fixed. Someone had put the deer back upright. I smiled and sighed in relief...something seems to feel like it's back in place in my heart.

Share Live Love Life

Written by Susan Brown

December 12, 2007 I was reading a really insightful, inspiring paragraph about the meaning of the holidays that was written by the Executive Director of the elderly care facility I work in. It really sat with me. It was about sharing, apologizing, listening, many reminders of ways to be while walking through life. That was yesterday evening when I read his statement. This afternoon the word "share" began what I felt like expressing, and while I was writing the message on my car a woman walked up to me and asked about the pen I was using. I explained where to get one and what I was doing and she was very supportive in her reponses to me. I ended up writing down the website name for her and found it really nice to talk to a stranger about it...sometimes when I take a while to change the message I become stagnant. Changing it this afternoon and having someone appear to talk to about it reinspired me to keep up my messages more again. Lots of Love whomever you are!    December 13th, 2007: Today has been angellic. I took myself to the beach and met a stranger there. We had a very heart-warming, sharing conversation about all kinds of experiences, philosophical things...just life. We shared. Shared sitting on the beach, warm enough to be in a swimsuit in the middle of December. Truly blessed. It's a gift to meet a random stranger (not really random though) and have so much in common, it was rather baffling. In some regards, I felt I was having a conversation with another version of myself, which is what we really all are. I was reading The Mystic Christ earlier today and was really understanding that how I treat my loved ones and enemies (which I don't even really feel like I have any enemies at all in this world at all, I never really have, just angry feelings coming out of situations I thought were the other persons fault). To love thine enemy is a powerful blessing and lesson, it takes understanding and the willingness to be open and vunerable. Nonsense, some might say. Protect yourself. We are like children not wanting to get hurt. Understandable, perfectly. I am just happy to be here, knowing I'm learning and that sometimes I'll let my emotions get the better of me...and that it too shall pass. Experiencing all these cliches I've heard my whole life is a vibrant way to live.

What Can I Say? It's a Beautiful Day

Written by Susan Brown

December 6-11, 2007 I began wondering "What can I say?" While thinking about what to write next on my car. So that's what I wrote. It was 6 o'clock in the morning and the sun was coming up. I was waiting outside of my Yoga studio for the Master to arrive. Looking around I felt it truly was a beautiful day. I think this often, pretty much every day, some thing or another shows beauty. A few days ago I was sitting at a stoplight, looked over to my right to see a man who appeared to be homeless. He was very dirty, unbathed, and appeared to have a tick, the kind that people with a mental illness or an extensive drug problem have. I watched him picking up litter around the bus stop and throw it away in a nearby trashcan. I was taken aback, I had to admitt to myself that I had a preconceived notion that homeless people don't care about littering, that they often live among trash as commonplace, so why would they care? That idea was shattered with that experience, humbling me. I see the beauty in nature and people everyday, so, "what can I say? It's a beautiful day." My dad has always said, "Any day you wake up is a good day." Ain't that the Truth. This quote stayed for days, literally through sun, happiness, rain, sadness, puffy beautiful clouds, anger, a double rainbow, inner stillness, the sight of snow, exhaustion, the ocean, relief, and the song of birds...It's all a part of life, there is a time for everything, and it is beautiful. I always seem to come back to a place within where I can be me and detach from the violence, including my own negative thoughts, and horrifying events of the world. I come from a Source and will go back to It. Life is Beautiful.

The Heart Grows with Hugs

Written by Susan Brown

December 4 & 5, 2007 Early the morning of the 4 th I was up before the sun rose, the stars were still shining in the night, morning, sky. As I drove to work and arrived early I had some time to change the message as the sun was coming up. I had no idea what to write. I just asked myself “What do I put on there?” and it appeared instantly: “The heart grows with hugs.” I laughed at the childlike quality of it and drew a heart in leiu of the word “heart.” Occasionally over the last couple days I noticed I could interpret the message to read: “The love grows with hugs.” Funny, today some young men, maybe in late high school or early college years pulled up next to me in their car and were clearly looking over to see who I was. They were giggling in a way that made me laugh, I assumed they were giggling about my message and looking over at me, who knows, whatever. After having it for two days I really detached from it and was thinking, it's not necessarily just about giving or receiving a hug to have love grow in my heart for others. Sometimes just a kind word or a small gesture is what it is to show respect or love. I met with a friend today who is a young Missionary man and rather than hugging goodbye when it came time to part, my hands were full, so instead of a handshake goodbye we grasped each others right pinky fingers. I turned to his Missionary companion and gave him a pinky finger grasp goodbye as well.

Live For Today

Written by Susan Brown

November 28th through December 3rd, 2007 I began with this quote as a suggestion from a friend. Several of my friends are very well-grounded and stay in the present moment. Often I find myself stressing out over things I “need to get done” when really they will be completed in due time and it's all just a bunch of pressure I put on myself that doesn't need to exist. So I was reminded to “live for today.” To actually stop and smell the roses, as it were. The first day of having this message on my car I allowed myself, in the middle of the workday, to go down to the beach, watch the water, the birds, feel the sand under my feet, take photographs, and smile at a father and son fishing together. It was beautiful. I watched the vibration of the water and the shimmering light reflecting from the sun. It took some time of being on the beach to really decompress from what I was feeling inside. I sat down on an old catamaran, took my shoes off, and nestled my feet into the sand and I just sat. I sat and breathed. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the waves coming from all directions in my mind. No purpose other than to just BE. I ended up leaving this message on my car for several days. Something in me didn't want to wash it off. It even rained this weekend and I just left it there. As I am writing this blog I still haven't wiped it off. It seemed to just become a part of my everyday, I would even forget it was there. I've begun to subconsciously look right through my message, without even thinking about what's written there, looking in the rearview at cars behind me...I suppose I finally wrote this blog because I feel I'm ready to start something new tomorrow. My love of self has been on my mind. And yesterday the sentence “I love you, me” kept appearing in my writings.

Moonlight Tree

Written by Susan Brown

November 26 & 27, 2007     I had no idea what to put on my car that morning...I was staring off into the sky and at the trees and I was thinking about how trees release oxygen and breathe in carbon dioxide. I remember being fascinated by this as a child and it seemed obvious to me that we are in a direct relationship with them. How can we live without trees, plants in general? I've created my fair share of waste, yet when I visualize rainforest being cut down it's like the decapitation or slaughtering of humans. Who says they are not conscious and do not feel? I don't claim to know either way, I am not a scientist, yet, if I really go to the heart of the matter it seems to me that any living thing feels and knows. And what is living? My tree drawing is an homage to our relationship with them, inspired by thoughts on their breathing and purifiying the air for us. I found the second day I had the drawing on my car that conversations about seeds, trees, and such relatedness appeared. At first I didn't really realize that it was such a topic of conversation, with more than one person, and once I became aware of it it was rather humorous really. I was laughing at myself during the later part of the day because I had stopped by my old house to pick up my plants that had been there for the last 6 months without me...I realized in the car, with 5 plants, 2 almost sticking out the sunroof, that I had a drawing of a tree on my window, duh. I was unconsciously having conversations and doing things related to plants for a while until remembered I had been purposefully bringing it to the forefront consciously with the driven message.

New York City & Garden in Transit

Written by Susan Brown

Thanksgiving Week, 2007  Before arriving in New York this week I had a feeling that while I was in there I would see other versions of car messages, and I did. One of the things I noticed was that in the last year NY cabs have begun displaying paintings of flowers on the hoods of their cars. I asked around about it and it's a program called "Garden in Transit," where an organization called Protraits of Hope helps children paint flowers on adhesive panels that are later applied to the cabs. I thought that was so cool that they would use art to beautify the city like that, that the children get to be more a part of the community that way. In the link below you can look at a couple pictures and read about the non-profit that came up with the idea to use the creation of this art form to encourage self-confidence and esteem in children. Garden in Transit: http://www.nyc.gov/html/gardenintransit/home.html I took the opportunity, being on vacation, to think about driven messages in an commercial way...what do people display on buses? Trains? Etc. Being more aware of this I found some interesting visuals floating about. One that peaked my interest in particular was a bus that had a photograph of the back of a Jesus statue standing with arms outstretched. I recognized it as the Christ the Redeemer Statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I was a kind of shocked it was taking up the whole side of the bus and still don't know why it was there, maybe it was a tourism add for Brazil. Either way, it made for a very interesting moment and photograph I experienced. Overall, it was an interesting week not changing up my own messages, so I was more of an observer.

Thank Our Ancestors

Written by Susan Brown

Thanksgiving Week, 2007 I attepted to write a blog on Thanksgiving Day and somehow it didn't appear after I submitted it...I figured I might as well write after the Thanksgiving week had been completed, I'd probably have more to say anyway. I went to new York City for the week and before I left I wrote one more message on my car. I was thinking about my grandparents and my ancestors who came before me...that their decisions have directly affected who and where I am today. If it weren't for their gusto and sense of adventure and wanting more, I wouldn't have been born in the United States, in a place where I have tremedous freedoms, including of Speech and the Press, reasons I am able to write this very blog. So, I wrote "Thank Our Ancestors" encouraging others to think about it. In college I took American Indian Studies courses and ended up taking almost every class they had on the subject. I found myself appaulled and astonished by the violent history of dishonesty, dishonor, murder, and purposeful spreading of disease that I wasn't really aware of much in High School. I do recognize our past as invaders of this country and all I can do now is live my life with love and forgiveness. One Native American professor actually said to the class one day "it wasn't you" and I almost broke down in tears when she said it. The slaughtering of Natives is still a sensitive subject for me and I respect, honor, and believe in tribal sovereignty and independence. As a whole, I thank my ancestors as the huamn race, walking on this planet, through trials and tribulations, making the best of it or not. Both my dad & stepmom commented on my car message (as my car was sitting in front of their house all week) and when they brought my grandmother over for Thanksgiving when I wasn't there, my dad said that when my Grandma saw the message she said she wanted to write "You're Welcome" below the message. My dad said she didn't because she didn't know how I'd react. Are you kidding? That would have been awesome had she written that on my car!!

Be the Change

Written by Susan Brown

11/16/07 I met with a friend for an event and walked out to our cars to say goodbye. It was the same person who let me write on his car a couple weeks ago and some lady took a picture of his window with her cell phone. Anyway, we decided to write again. The first thing that popped into his head was "Be the Change" then he strarted questioning it...we decided to go with it...don't question the first thing that comes to mind, just go with it. I wrote it on there for him and he said he'd keep it on for a week or two. I wonder how it will affect his days to come. To "be the change" to me is to act as if...if you want something in your life, act as if you have it and with strength and persistence or sometimes sheer manifestation it will appear. The whole of our lives is manifestation, we manifest everything we see before us and this world is a play that our soul is living, pretty amazing to look at it that way. If I want peace I have to be that change, I have to be peace.

"We R 1" Days 2 & 3

Written by Susan Brown

11/17/07 The second and third day of having "We R 1" on my car were pretty mellow. I didn't think much about how it was there, it just felt comfortable. Several of my friends and family commented on the message and liked it. It seems that people are getting used to the idea that I'm doing these car messages. My stepmom started her own blog this weekend and it was really inspirational and entertaining, we'll be seeing a website for her soon and we'll definitely be linking the two to each other. I had a good friend tell me yesterday I really ought to look into cafepress because they manage all kinds of products online and I could put out some t-shirts, bumper stickers, etc. That would be pretty nice to get that going soon as well. Having "We R 1" on my car like that for 3 days reminded me how connected we really are. The first day I had it on the car my yoga master was on the phone to her mom in Korea and handed it to me to say hello. This woman and I, clear across the world, were telling eachother we love one another without having ever met or known anything about the other. It was an amazing feeling. My teacher and I then talked about how people in South and North Korea that are family still try to write or talk to one another and it's really difficult. I know about that situation and it broke my heart on the spot to be connected to some people that are going through it, I almost began to cry. It's not as far removed from my life as I think, it's not just some story I've watched on tv, it's peoples lives. Most of the time I don't pay much attention to the media, when I do it's so desensitizing and unreal. When I am really connected to the reality of what goes on in the news I can't help but cry. Everything that goes on in this world is a reflection of who I am, who we are, and to know that we do these horrible things to eachother is difficult to stomach. When we love our children more than we love our belief systems war will dissipate, we will focus on abundance and logistics...there is enough to feed everyone, we are capable of this.

We R 1 & Thunder Strikes!

Written by Susan Brown

11/15/07 Today was one of the best days I've had in a while. It ranked as one of the best days of my life because it flowed so well. Everyone I interacted with today I saw in a positive light. I even went to the happiest post office I've ever experienced. I think it all started out with my choice of music on my way out into the world for the day, it was a mix cd of multicultural, new age, electronica, etc. that really promoted a feeling of Oneness. As I was thinking about it I realized the songs went from Africa to Europe, then Australia, Mexico, Native America, the Himalayas, Asia...probably the most well-rounded inspirational cd I've ever made, and I've made ALOT of mix tapes and cds for myself and a ton of people over the years. In that feeling I decided the message was "We are one." I then drew an Earth, sun, and moon underneath. We really are one, all connected. What I do or don't do with myself and my day, everyday, affects alot of people which in turn affects more people... I saw a pizza delivery van today that had a bumper sticker which read "Commit random acts of kindness." I took a picture of the car, however, the sticker didn't turn out. Later that night I saw a huge SUV with a message!! It said "Thunder strikes!" on the back window. I freaked out, and when I pulled up next to the car it read on the side windows: "Rolling Thunder" and "Go Camilla." I started laughing hysterically because it was a sports thing. It was crazy how familiar it felt to be staring at someone else's car message in white paint pen. Man, that was funny, especially since you could interpret "Thunder strikes!" however the heck you want. Maybe thunder has struck in my life recently...

GNARLY CAR

Written by Susan Brown

11/15/07   Go to the November Gallery for more pics of this car...  The coolest thing happened today. I was crusing up the hill to my house and a girl driving in the opposite direction smiled a huge "I know you" smile and even waved a bit. I had never seen this person in my life, it was awesome. We both were just in that happy place (I'm thinking of Happy Gilmore now). Anyway, within a minute of that happening and me thinking about how awesome my life is, I saw a car parked that was completely covered in spray paint!! I immediately pulled off to find somewhere to park and get out to take pictures of it, saying "Yes!That's awesome!!" out loud. It was parked in front of the local high school and I started thinking, leave it to a high school kid to do something awesome like that. (Have I used the word awesome enough in this paragraph?) I remember back in high school, my first car. It was totally thrashed, cigarette burns, stcikers all over the back...yadda, yadda. Remember back in high school, the high energy, the angst, and the kids that what do anything? So I got out and took a bunch of pictures, the left side had the word "GNARLY" on, the hood had a peace sign and there were just random colors all over the whole paint job. When I walked around to the right side of the car, there was the guys' phone number!!! I was laughing (I'm laughing right now), so I wrote it down and when I got back to my car I called it. Dudes' name is Fletcher, and he answered his phone while sitting in class. I've been wondering about that. Do high school kids nowadays sneak in cell phone calls and text messages alll day, like we used to pass notes? Apparently so. I probably would have if cell phones existed back then (which really wasn't that long ago). He told me I wasn't the first one who has called. How cool to just put yourself out there like that, I really appreciate people's gusto. He reminded me of people I would have hung out with in high school. I told him about the website and that I'll be posting pictures of his car soon. He told me that he and his friends were just bored one day and just decidedto paint the car. It was really cool to have that happened today...and to actually follow through with it all feels good...

Music Soothes the Savage Beast!!!

Written by Susan Brown

11/15/07 I have been immersed in music the last few days, just completely rummaging through everything I own. I stayed up 'till 2:30 last night downloading my CDs onto my laptop and was definately taken down memory lane. I realized that some of why I don't listen to my old stuff in the car is because it's really the kind of music I like to stay up late and be contemplative or creative to...it's not so much for driving. When I was in late elementary and jr. high school I used to stay up 'till 2 or 3 in the morning just to listen to music and think and doodle. So when I went to work today the woman that puts on the exercises for the elderly people didn't show up, we ended up waiting for the next class to start. I realized coming back into the room that there was a cd player just sitting there, so I turned on what was already in there, classical piano. The people that were in the room sitting in silence thanked me and started talking about how beautiful the music was...10 minutes later, still waiting for the teacher to arrive, one man had his eyes closed and was playing an imaginary piano on his knees and one woman looked over at another and said "Music soothes the savage beast. Isn't that what they say?" Quote for the day!!!! Duh, it came right to me.

Have U smiled @ a stranger today?

Written by Susan Brown

11/14/07 Very interesting day for many reasons. A friend and I were talking on the phone yesterday and he told me his idea of being a walking billboard with messages and suggested the question: "Have you smiled at a stranger today?" I loved it and knew I would be using it today as soon as he said it. Also yesterday, a stranger complimented me on my smile and attitude and said I was the first person in his whole day that was kind to him...he said that strangers in this area rarely ever smile at one another. Well, I haven't necessarily had that experience, I guess I'm looking for people to smile at. The old folks home I work at is full of smiling older people and staff members that actually care. I am so fortunate to work there. Anyway, driving around with that quote today felt pretty good, I noticed it often. After brunch I pulled up to a light to turn right and a guy in a truck was to my left waiting to turn. He had a huge smile and was motioning at me, he signalled that he wanted a business card from me and was pointing to my window. I replied by talking and motioning that I didn't have a card, stuck my hands out and motioned for him to write it down. I said out loud "no, sorry, I don't have any cards, but you can write it down" he looked very happy and shook his head in agreement. I pulled out and had this feeling like he was reading the window as a pulled away...about 2 minutes later and less than a mile away I realized he might have thought I was going to write down for him. When I realized this I felt horrible. He was totally interested in the message and the website and for some reason I didn't take the time to write it down and run over to his car or pull over then run over to him. Usually I would have the energy to do something like that, but this time I didn't think and just kept driving. I questioned the whole thing and I knew that if I went back he probably wouldn't be there, I ended up going back anyway just to see and confirmed he wasn't there. It took me awhile to calm down from feeling "stupid" about it. I just reminded myself that everything happens for a reason, and HIS message to me was: get some business cards. Ha. Later that afternoon, leaving work I pulled out and my friends were staring at my car, they started yelling at me so I stopped and they said "YES!!!" and then one said "I did smile at a stranger today!"

Celestial Day 2, having a Blast!!

Written by Susan Brown

11/13/07  My day was awesome. I finally had one of those days where I blare the stereo, sing, dance, and rock out. This continued throughout the day, in my car, at home, while resting, working, playing, eating. Music truly heals, rocks, and stops me for contemplation time. I had thought about putting something on my car about music and didn't...I just love the symbol I drew the day before. (A picture of it will be coming soon.) As for music, I was thinking about putting "music rocks, music heals, music, etc." just little two word phrases in all kinds of random angles all over the window. Maybe I'll save that for another day. It was really nice to have a day like that, when no one's really around, or you just don't care what people think. I know when I see someone rockin' out in their car I have to smile or even laugh, it's best to actually catch their eye and smile at eachother. I feel I was able to give people great energy throughout the day because I let my body move and relax...it was my own personal party for the day. Hope you like to have personal parties sometimes too, it's good for the soul!

Something Celestial

Written by Susan Brown

11/12/07 I don't even know where today's message came from, somewhere in the ether of whatever...I just wiped off the old message and feelings started to flow. First I drew a circle, then a dot in the middle of it, then four lines going outward from the center. At first it looked like the crosshairs of a scope or something, although I was really thinking about a medicine wheel and the four directions. Then I drew a variation of crosshatches in the four quadrants of the circle; verticle, horizontal, right downward, left downward. Then some more lines, circles, then a moon and a star showed up. I wasn't really sure what the purpose was, I was just doing, expressing. Someone pulled into the parking lot (yeah, I was in a parking lot drawing on the car, usually I'm at home) and walked by me saying "being artistic?" and smiling. I smiled back and told him about it. It felt really good to be overtaken by drawing like that today, a beautiful break from the day, my thoughts, etc. It's almost like feeling like I'm a little kid again, exploring, being curious and fully engrossed in what I'm doing. Pretty awesome really. I wish that kind of feeling on anyone, it's truly a gift to be that focused. So, something celestial it was.

Knock, knock! Who's there?

Written by Susan Brown

11/11/07   The same friend that was teasing me about the darkness quote the day before was laughing at the Pacman ghost pic...that's when I realized I've so serious about all this. I started wondering, what could I put on there that would be kinda funny or witty? It doesn't have to be so serious all the time...then out of nowhere knock-knock jokes appeared. Okay, so, "Knock-knock! Who's there?" You finish the joke. I'm sure some of you have one to four million of them stored away in your memory banks somewhere. Smile!! Humor is the greatest healer, and gah, when did we become adults and get so serious all the time anyway? Maybe I should write a full joke on there...I'd have to find one since I usually don't retain too many of them. Got one?

Within the Darkness 2

Written by Susan Brown

11/10/07 On this day I kept the same message as the day before, however, it felt very different...the website is now live and I went ahead and wrote www.DrivenMessages.com along with the message. I was standing in a crowded parking lot in the middle of lunchtime on a Friday writing it and people were walking by staring at me. I felt a little nervous, however, exhilirated by it. Has it only been a couple weeks since I decided to actually do something about this idea? I guess so. Short but sweet. A friend of mine came on the site, was viewing the photos and started teasing me about this quote, saying "the definition of darkness is the absence of light" and I replied something along the lines of "how can you be observing the darkness if there's no light within?" I'm not to sure how well that flew with him. Ha, it's definitely something to laugh about now...

Within the Darkness...

Written by Susan Brown

11/9/07 "Within the darkness there is light..." I had a "shower moment" today. I felt very strange again today; my mood, change in weather toward winter, and possibly some other aspects created a sense of dis-ease this morning. So, while in the shower wondering how I wanted to affect my day to become more balanced and positive the sense came over me that no matter how dark it seems there is always a light...even in the pitchest black there is a light, and, that light is from within. If I am floating in a black hole I am still light energy within looking outward.  I was also thinking of a Yin-Yang symbol and the possiblitiy of someting else similar, yet that didn't seem right to put on the car. Driving around today I felt at ease with the sense of a spark of light inhabiting the dark. There is always a glimpse of something good in what we perceive may be bad. Negative things happen for a reason and we are all human. Talking to a friend on the phone I realized that a lot of these messages I've been writing have in a way been a lot more for me than they have been for others. My intension is to affect people's day and I know that the people that need to see it are seeing it, and at the same time it seems these messages are really an outer affirmation of what I want to remember for myself each day. A few times today it seemed that the person in the car behind me appeared to be contimplating the message. This is the first time I have seen what may have been reactions in people. Anyhow, I can really appreciate what came to me today and I am grateful to be able to share it with others and hope that it sheds some light on their day..

Day 2 of Giving

Written by Susan Brown

11/8/07 It was a strange day, I kept the message from the day before "The greatest gift is being able to Give," and didn't really know when I might change it...I ended up having my car washed that night and there were still some of the words left when I exited. So, I cleaned the rear window and went on my way driving an hour south to see a movie with a friend. It occured to me, this was the first time I didn't have anything written on the window for the first time in a couple weeks. I would usually wipe off a message and just put another one right back on. It was kind of freeing to have nothing there, like a blank slate, yet I felt like I could be driving around saying something and that the time on the freeway was almost wasted. Strange, never dreamed of feeling that way about an empty rear window. Nothing came for the rest of the night and I just let it be. I knew I would wake up the next day and something right would appear. I want to stay true to keeping a message on my car, yet, it's been an experiement knowing when what words are right when. So, Day 2 of "Giving" it was. And how did it help shape my day? I think I just kept reminding myself that I am doing what I can to give to others and it doesn't have to be a million dollars or a ridiculously extraordinary thing...it's the little things that matter and I'm doing the best with what I've got.

The Greatest Gift...

Written by Susan Brown

11/7/07 Today ws a big day for me. I spent hours going through my storage unit getting ready for the Salvation Army to come pick up my stuff to donate. I got rid of things I've had for over twenty years. It felt so good to get rid of things and give it away. Giving feels really good. I was thinking about how I wanted to shape the day before I left to do the storage extravagganza, knowing I'd be getting rid of stuff I'd held on to for a long time...so I decided to write on my window "The greatest Gift is being able to GIVE." Driving with that on my car, it occured to me that maybe the greatest gift is to be here, to be alive. Anyhow, an extension of being here and being alive would then be to give, to contribute. This website and concept is probably one of my most unique contributions so far. I am very grateful to have put it into action thus far. My friend Cliff called me today. We had written "Imagination is Everything" on his car a week or two ago. He had kept it on until it rained a bit recently and told me that it was really exciting because one day he saw a woman in his rearview mirror taking a picture of the message with her cell phone. Awesome!! That's the first I've heard of someone reacting like that. It's cool to know that my idea to write these messages spread to a stranger and affected her day. I'm so glad he let me know, I'm starting to wonder what will happen when this site goes live soon...and if Cliff had, and everyone else includes www.drivenmessages.com on the car it would spread even wider, faster. We'll see what happens!!         It turns out that my thoughts about giving melded into the rest of my day as well. I found myself talking to a friend about giving from love, because I want to, because I can...rather than giving expecting something in return, including a reaction or response. I just keep giving not ever knowing if or when or what I'll receive, and that's part of the fun and mystery of life.

Beauty

Written by Susan Brown

11/6/07: I had a wonderful morning before going to work, took a bath, meditated, listen to music. When I got out to my car I hadn't the faintest idea what I would write. In the driveway was a beautiful little white-tailed rabbit, just sitting there, watching me. I walked far away around it, giving it space then started to wipe off the old message from my rear window. When it was clean I looked up to see the rabbit hopping across the street toward the embankment s/he lives in. Then it stopped before heading to the brush and hung out along the curb, watching me. Still wondering what to write I watched him motoring his hind leg to scratch behind his ear. It was so cute, I was thinking, how beautiful nature is. That's it! “BEAUTY.” So then I wrote the “b” pretty big and had to squash in the “eauty” on the rest of the window. It looked unbalanced so I added a spiral in front of the “b” to give it some continuity. Driving along with the word “beauty” on my car felt pretty good. I had a sense that whomever ended up seeing it today may have stopped to feel for a moment, I hope. It's not a message meant to say “hey, I'm a beauty” like a lot of Playboy stuff might suggest, however, if that's the perception of the person viewing it, there's not much I can do. My intension is to simply state the word in hopes of reminding myself and others that beauty is all around us.

Speak Your Dream , Day 2

Written by Susan Brown

11/5/07   Today was an interesting day. I didn't end up writinng a new quote on my car for the first time since I started. I was feeling tired this morning and working through the feeling when I noticed I was talking out loud. It seems the only way I was able to keep track of all the paperwork I was looking at was to be mummbling out loud to myself about where I was putting things. So, my "Speak Your Dream" that stayed on the car from yesterday turned into just speaking what I needed to to get by at that point. Later during my caregiving job, I was in the dining room and overheard two of the servers talking about talking to ones self, so it really began to unfold as the topic of the day. Talking to one self. I know my self-talk can shift my whole day in one direction or another. At first I felt kind of bad that I didn't change my quote today, yet, why should I? I don't really need to...maybe there were people out there that needed to see that particular message that I don't know about. I am definitely excited to have something fresh and new tomorrow, though. It'll be nice to have something come to me that feels right. Nothing really came that felt quite right for me to put on there today. I suppose there's a first for everything. I suppose "Speak Your Dream" was meant to stay on the car another day, that it's an important phrase to be considered a while longer.

Speak Your Dream

Written by Susan Brown

11/4/07   I had several intense, colorful dreams last night. Each one had something to do with something going on with myself or a person in my life that would be beneficial for me to address here in the physical. I realizedin the shower that I want to "speak my dreams" to others to communicate what I'm really thinking or feeling. Getting out of the shower I knew I had four different people to talk to about some things and I knew what the quote of the day was then going to be. On a grander scale, to speak one's dreams can be a profound thing, I know in my life I've been afraid at times to really say what I wanted out of life. Martin Luther King, Jr. is probably my greatest hero and he spoke of his dream, didn't he.

Say Everything You Want to Say

Written by Susan Brown

11/3/07   At the end of yoga class today we shared about our experience and I had been feeling kind of "off" and sad this morning and was sharing about it. Another woman then shared feeling similar and told us that her father has recently become termninally ill with cancer. I really felt like giving her hug, so when we walked out to our cars I asked her for one. I told her I had worked around hospice and that I'm a caregiver for elderly people, so I had been in those situations a lot, including two of my own grandparents death and dying processes. The one suggestion I felt I needed to say to her was to make sure "you say everything you want to say." The purpose of clearing off like that would be healing both for her and for him. She then told me about how her sister had a horrible relationship witjh their father and that it was a huge deal that she came to visit him and heal what they could. I recognize that I also need to say whatever I really want to the people in my life. I know I have a tendancy to hold back. "Say Everything You Want" could be misconstrued in a negative way...some people might have some not so great things to say to others, however, I believe that by putting that on my car maybe it will strike someone to consider how they think or feel about something going on with them. I have found that when I'm angry with someone it's either because I really care about them or I'm really angry with myself. This whole day has become about communication and questioning what I am saying and what am I not saying that I could be? I also like the parallel that it was written on my rear window, and hey, I can write anything I want!!  Later that evening my sister and her friends from New York all went to dinner. they were following my car and asked about it when we arrived. They were teasing me because my "say" looked like "soy." And when I told them about the concept one of them thought it was cool I was "writing poetry" on my car. Hmmm....I hadn't thought, or realized it could be seen as poetry. I like that. In the future I probably put some things I consider more poetic on the car.

Rockin' Love & Trust

Written by Susan Brown

11/2/07 A friend of mine and I had an intense, emotional conversation about our friendship yesterday and once things had calmed down and we were talking about the site, he suggested the quote "Love = Trust." At first I didn't really agree with it. I mean, I believe that part of love is to trust, and part of trusting is to come from love, they still are different in my mind, so I was a little resistant to put it on my car. When I woke up and got going today, however, I thought, you know, it doesn't really matter, and why am I always analyzing the crap out of everything? I'll pay tribute to my friend and see how the quote shapes my day. I had spent the night at my dad's house and also felt like tagging his car before I left in the morning for work..."You Rock, Dad!" I had been thinking it earlier this week, so, hey, why not?   The quote "Love = Trust" did remind me throughout the day to be loving and trusting everywhere I went and I kept looking in my reveiw mirror probably more at it than any other quote so far. I suppose it kept me in checkw with how I treat people out in the world. Thanks Sean!!

Be Thankful That We're Here

Written by Susan Brown

11/1/07   Today when I went to work, caregiving for an elderly woman I took her for a walk, she saw my car and asked me about the message. I explained that I write something different every day, I asked if she would come up with the quote for the day and she was shy about it. Then I explained it could be anyhthing, like "live and let live" or something else, and she said "Be thankful that we're here." I felt honored to have her come up with the quote. She is 87 years old and has Dementia so it was great to have that kind of conversation, be understood, and hear her wisdom. She always talks about how grateful she is to be living where she does, to not have to cook or clean, and when I cared for her in Lake Tahoe she raved about the beauty of nature wherever we went. The funny thing about it was that I had thought a of a similar message a couple of days before and didn't use it. I thought of the word "grateful" instead of "thankful." I am very thankful to be exactly where I am in my life right now. Thanks, Dory!!

Limitations & Expectations

Written by Susan Brown

10/31/07 Happy Halloween!!!     This morning I went upstairs to make breakfast and Ann and I started talking about what my quote of the day could be...I was excited to hear what she might come up with. Then she told me her favorite quote she said she's always used: "Your only limitations are your expectations." Perfect!! It was enjoyable to have someone else come up with the quote for the day and have it be so extraordinary. Then I began wondering, "How is this message going to affect my day?" Turns out, in being open to whatever, some really great things came my way and I just threw out any thoughts that limited the possibilties others and I were talking about. Working on a creative project with two other people, sometimes doubts about what the results might turn out to be come up, this time I just lsitened to what everybody had to say and remembered that it'll all work out in the end, why would I want to put a limit on the possibilities? What do I expect this thing to be and how limited is it? A friend saw the quote on my car and started telling me about recognizing his expectations in his relationship and how he became unhappy when something didn't happen that he thought would. I guess no matter what we think, believe or expect, there's always sometyhing outside of it.

The Fantasy is Real

Written by Susan Brown

10/30/07          The quote of the day didn't come until lunch time for whatever reason. I was sitting on the deck where I live, overlooking the ocean and I began to think about my future. I dazed off and closed my eyes to meditate. I saw beautiful visuals for what my soul wants to manifest here, it was so relaxing. Someone woke me out of my dreamland calling me. I then started thinking about how our thoughts create our present and our future to be (and we can choose to feel differently about the past, too). I realized in that moment, just because our imagination is on another plane or dimension doesn't make it not real, it absoultely is. The quote became "The fantasy is real" because in my eyes, the feeling and thinking we have inside is just as real as anything else.

Be Good 2 Yourself

Written by Susan Brown

10/29/07  “Be good 2 yourself” came up for me this morning, just the right feel, not too serious and not too lighthearted or cheesy either. I suppose it was akin to my friends’ “It’s all going to be alright,” yet not as intense. I really do wish and hope the best for people and believe that if each of us took good care of ourselves we’d be a lot happier, healthier, and better off on the planet. I know that when I get up in the morning, take my time to meditate, make breakfast, and now add a message to my car, my whole day seems to flow better. I came across a person that had controlling behavior today, whom I have barely met, that was telling me what to do. Instead of reacting out of defensive emotion, I actually took the time to stop and think before I responded. The ability to do that is such a gift and I think I was more prepared for it because I allowed myself to take good care of me today leading up to that encounter. I know that her supposed need to direct me really had nothing to do with who I am; it was all about her perception. I wonder what message will appear for me tomorrow…

Love Drawing

Written by Susan Brown

10/28/07             Today I wanted to do something lighthearted. I thought of puffy clouds, started with that and ended up with a sky scene; raining clouds with mountains and a spiral sun. I wrote the word “Love” down in the right hand corner like a signature. I felt really comfortable and happy driving around with that on my car, probably because it seemed more “me.” The whole day seemed to flow like that and I told more friends and family about the site. I find the various responses interesting. Some people that I’ve known for years have reacted differently than I thought they may. I think that once the site has been around a while people will be more interested in checking it out visually rather than just hearing about it from me. It was a beautiful day…

The Truth with Pacman Ghosts

Written by Susan Brown

10/27/07 My message today was “Your truth will set you free.” It rained during the day and the letters began to run a bit which I thought looked artistic in a way. For some reason I felt insecure about the message, probably because it was more outwardly directed at the people around me. It was an obvious message to those around me, so how do they feel about it? What will their responses be? Pulling up to a grocery store I noticed a man cranking his neck to look at my car, it took me a while to realize he was reading the message. This is the first time I’ve been able to tell that someone was reading it. I have been watching people occasionally in my rearview and hadn’t seen any clear indication they were responding to my message. I have noticed feeling insecure when I tell certain people about the car messages, and I just keep pushing through anyway. I guess that's my truth of the day. Depending on the person I am speaking to my way of telling them is different every time. I pulled up to my friends’ Halloween party tonight to find that she had written a message on her car!!! I had told her about it a few days before and she told me that she already had a window paint pen in her car and had used it to draw a Pacman ghost on another friends’ window. So I was pleasantly surprised when I pulled up to see that she had written “It’s all going to be alright,” especially since a lot of people have been disturbed by the fires there in San Diego. I am sure that some people have been positively affected by reading her words of comfort. And I know I was tremendously surprised and affected by the fact that she had created her own car message. The first person to do it without me really asking!! Later that night I walked another friend to his car to find that it was his car with the Pacman ghost!!

Love and Imagination

Written by Susan Brown

10/26/07             {mosimage}     Going out to my car first thing in the morning for work, the window was covered with layer of dew. I started wiping it off anyway, which took a while and a lot of paper towels…I thought about getting a squeegee, but I also thought with all that water it may thin out the window paint and get it all over the paint job. So, lots of paper towels it was, and I found that it was difficult to get the thicker lettering off with the water gooping it up. All clean, I drove to work to let it dry without anything written yet, and I was thinking I would wait for the right words to come to me at the right time.             “Love is in the Air” ended up being the message for the day. Several hours later I was on my way to Cirque du Soleil when my friend Laurel called. We got into a very heartfelt, open discussion and we began talking about the consciousness of the Earth and how breath is so important. She said she had been learning that every time we breathe, we breathe in love…and I know that when we breathe out it releases toxins or negative energy. Yoga and other practices teach the importance of our breath and how to use it to stretch more deeply and relax in a pose or to calm down from emotions like anger or sadness. I went to the show not thinking much about that part of our conversation and when I got out and was driving home, I looked in my review mirror and saw the words in a different way. “Love is (literally) in the air” we breathe, not just in our minds.             I called Laurel the next day and explained to her the realization I had and the fact that I had completely forgotten my quote was exactly what we were talking about. She then read to from a book she is reading: "Put your attention in your lungs.  Feel the pleasure of breathing.  To breathe fulfills the biggest need of humanity.  When we fulfill a need, we feel pleasure.   Feel that strong connection between your lungs and the air.  Just to breathe is enough to make you happy.  You can always feel that pleaure of the strong communion between your lungs and the air.  That communion is love.  When the archangel created humans, he put a gift of love in the air for them.  This gift of love fills all of your being when you breathe with awareness in every cell of your body, in every emotion of your mind, and in every piece of light that creates you."   - Don Miguel Ruiz : Beyond Fear: A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Joy   Link to Don Miguel Ruiz: www.miguelruiz.com Thank you, Laurel!!  So, I had met with a good buddy for Cirque du Soleil and told him about my idea for people to write messages on their car. We grabbed my pen and stood behind his car trying to think of what to write…then all of the sudden it came to him standing there in the parking lot before the show started: “Imagination is Everything” by Albert Einstein. And, boy, was that appropriate. We saw the most creative, imaginative, beautiful show and walked out feeling like little kids at the circus. Imagination really is everything.     Link to Cirque du Soleil: www.cirquedusoleil.com

Trust

Written by Susan Brown

10/25/07  Today was the first day I painted a message on my car. I wasn’t really sure what to write at first and I started with a heart, then another, and ended up with the word “TRUST”. I had been thinking about what to put on there for a few days and finally made it over to Kragen Auto to buy a window paint pen (which was about three and a half dollars). About an hour or so after I wrote on my window out front of my house, people I live with started to come home. Bob walked in and was asking “Hey, what’s with your car, are you getting married or something?” I said “no” and explained that I am starting to write positive messages on my car for people to see, want others to do it to, and that we’ll have a website up soon. He thought it was a very original idea and was laughing heartedly about it. Next Ann came home, same thing: “Hey what’s with your car?” she said, and I replied “I’m starting to write positive messages on my car.” She looked at me with raised eyebrows across the room and said with a kind of awe “Really?”   I replied “yes.” She walked away with huge smile on her face…then Bob walked in and said, “hey, see, you’re already getting attention.” When I got in my car to drive somewhere I looked in the rearview mirror and laughed because the reversal of the writing on the outside of the window and the mirror made the message appear to read correctly as if I were viewing from the outside of the car…so people can read it all day and I can too.

Founding the Site

Written by Susan Brown

This concept and website was created after years of thinking about it and finally taking action. I am a visual artist and have always thought it would be fun to take the window paint pens that people usually use for weddings or sporting events on their car windows and give it some positive focus. On Monday, October 22, 2007, I went to listen to Wayne Dyer speak about positive thinking and Taoism. I had also been to a week long forum on similar concepts and heard people talking about “shower moments.” Those are the moments when you are in the shower and something miraculous just hits you, like a line of a poem, and idea, or the solution to something you’ve been thinking about for a while.         On Tuesday, that next morning, I had a shower moment. It hit me like a lightning bolt that I could take this idea I’ve had for years and run with it, create a website, and see what other people have to say. In the past I don’t believe I saw it as being that meaningful or probable nor did I think others might want to do it also. I changed my mind. So here it is! Please enjoy this site, experimenting with your car messages, and share it with your friends and family. We need more positive energy in this world!! Thank you for all of your time and support.